Friday, April 08, 2005

Song Parodies

Please post your song parodies here. Maybe we can keep them all under one heading and they won't clutter up the other threads.

43 comments:

weblog administrator said...

(copied from another thread)

When I find myself in times of trouble, Prophet Warren comes to me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness he is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Pingy Pangy words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, at the YFZ.

For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. Come to me.

Let it be, let it be, .....

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
Father Rulon shining down on me

I wake up to the sound of Army tanks
piping tear gas in on me
Crying in my pillow
Leave me be

Let it be, let it be, .....

Ringo Allred, John Lennon Steed, Paul Jessop and George Barlow

7:02 PM

weblog administrator said...

(copied from another thread)

We're Srewed
sung to the pingy pangy tune of Hey Jude)

We're screwed, and it's so sad.
But Uncle Warren will make it better.
Remember to let him into your heart,
Then heu can start to make it better.

We're screwd, just like I said
It's really bad and getting worse
Simply 'casue we've got dark skin
Uncle Warren wants to put us in a hearse.

We're screwed, we're srewed real bad
'Cause the Prophet he is a gringo
He no like the color of my skin
It's is my sin, because he say so

Na na na na na ,na na na, we're screwed...

weblog administrator said...

(copied from another thread)

All your money
(sung to the pingy pangy tune All Your Lovin’)

You were surprised when I took power
Now it’s your darkest hour
Because all my schemes have come true
Now I am the Prophet and you are my puppet
And I’m taking you money from you

All your money, I will take from you
All your money, I need revenue

You’re stranded there in Short Creek
But I’m living high out at the retreat
Known by the gentiles as the YFZ
And you will keep on givin’ to support my high livin’
Beause that ‘s how I want it to be

All your money, send it all to me
All your money, needed at the YFZ

So while you’re stuck out there slavin’
Just know that I’m still cravin’
For things that don’t belong to me
And that I’ll keep on demanding that you continue handing
Your tithes and your wives over to me.

All your money, send it all to me
And I’ll keep sweet, at the YFZ

weblog administrator said...

(copied from another thread)

Originally posted by Strait from Utah

ALL MY EXES LIVE IN TEXAS

All my exes live in Texas
Because Texas is the place
Where Warren chose to be
All my exes live in Texas
In a brand new log cabin
Out at the YFZ

There’s Mary Jane from Hurricane
She was given to my brother Shem
And sweet Camille from Orderville
She also lives with him

All my exes live in Texas
And Texas is the place
I’ll never get to be
All my exes live in Texas
Since the day that Uncle Warren
Took them all away from me

There was Tara from over in Santa Clara
She really turned my head
And the day that Uncle Roy married us
Was the best day I’d ever had
But now she’s gone, as are they all
And I left here all alone
While they spend their time with that brother of mine
In his brand new Texas home

All my exes live in Texas
And Texas is the place
I’ll never get to see
All my exes live in Texas
In a brand new log cabin
Out at the YFZ

Anonymous said...

OK boss, if this is where you want them. Here's another

I Saw Her Standing There
(sung to the pingy pangy Beatles tune of the same name)

Well, she was just fourteen,
You know what I mean,
And my five wives told me not to stare,
But I could not resist taking another -- ooooh
When I saw her standing there

Well she looked at me,
And I, I could see,
That she would like to be a sister wife
To her aunt and mother -- ooooh
Oh when I saw her standing there.

Well my heart went zoom
As I crossed that room,
‘Cause the Prophet said she would be mine
Now I’ve moved on to finding others -- ooooh
After I saw here standing there.

Anonymous said...

do not forget this one: When Jesus comes to claim his own, Like he did on days before, and they mock and scorn, Keep your rythum, keep your tune, sing it loud and sing it to the moon. Your lips may flap, your brains may ramble, but can your puny arm stop a river in it's ramble? Can your lyrics save another, in a tornado storm? Did you forgive, or Judge your brother. In every language, in every town, tis' one Jesus's law around. One soul, one soul, can you save, with all your mumble jumble, your own is all that you controle, and Jesus's law is very old. Before you go into his time, I hope its your soul saved with your rumble, tumble ryme. There is only one law, upon the land. Love or hate does abound. Are you the devils or will you go with Christ?

Anonymous said...

I think this last one the faithful of warren will sing to "Our Prophet is caught up" or more likely to the tune of the German National Anthem from the 1940's!!!! hahaha

Anonymous said...

Just thought you'd like to know, we had a wonderful time here in the north tonight, a social with people I've not seen in years, and many I haven't known. all smiles and times like '60s and 70's. It's only the end if you let it be the end. one man that flew up said "it's amazing to see all the smiling faces" Isn't that what it's all about folks? Where are your young people; can you give them hope in a bright future? a reason to live? well, Let's be real and keep on. by the way these logs don't bring out what's in his heart, only what's in mine. something to think about?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
weblog administrator said...

Here's yet another warning. I just deleted a rap parody because of vulgar language. Remember, this is an open blog, that allows annonymous posts. The only way for it to work is for everyone to play nice. I know this rule irks some of you. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Aww!! Squashed by "The Man" again, but it's alright, we are used to it where I come from!

Anonymous said...

Warren Jeffs Will Kick You Out of Town
(sung to the pingy pangy tune of Santa Claus is coming to town)

Well....you'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better not pout
I'm tellin' you why
'Cause Warren Jeffs will kick you out of town

He knows when you are sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been blogging
So be good for goodness sake!

You'd better say your prayers
You'd better KEEP SWEET
But most of all....
You'd better keep kissing his feet
Or Warren Jeffs will kick you out of town.

He knows when you are sinning
'Cause your sinning all the time
He knows how much you're giving
So don't hold back a dime!

Oh you'd better not gossip
You'd better not spy
On the dear Holy Prophet
Or his sixty-seven wives
'Cause Uncle Warren will kick you out of town

by Uncle Luke the Drifter

Amanda Hugenkist said...

So what's going on in your town?

Anonymous said...

You don't mess around with Warren
(sung to the pingy pangy Jim Croce tune of You don't mess around with Jim)

Uptown got its hustlers
Da’ bowery got its bums
Da’ FLDS got Waren Jeffs
He be a prophesying son-of-a-gun
He’s as ugly and dumb as a man can come
But he’s as powerful as he can be
And the pligs are all comin’ to Texas to worship
Him out at the YFZ

You don’t tug on Superman’s cape
You don’t spit into the wind
You don’t pull the mask off the ol’ Lone Ranger
And, you don’t mess around with War-ren

But outta Cedar City, Utah came a private eye
Sam Brower was his name
An investigatin’ fool with lots of fancy tools
Said he was lookin’ for a prophet to shame
Said he wanted to track down Warren Jeffs
So he could take the man to trial
He said it may sound funny but I’m no dummy
And I been at this for awhile

An’ all the folks said...Hey Sam
You don’t tug on Superman’s cape
You don’t spit into the wind
You don’t pull the mask off the ol’ Lone Ranger
And, you don’t mess with Uncle War-ren

Well a hush fell over the YFZ
When the prophet came boppin’ in
When the litigating was done the only part that wasn’t bloody
Was the tip of Warren’s chinny, chin, chin
Oh, he lost all of his holy assets
And he lost a whole lot more
And you’d better believe they sang a different kinda story
When Warren hit the floor

They all said...
You don’t tug on Superman’s cape
You don’t spit into the wind
You don’t pull the mask off the ol’ Lone Ranger
And, you don’t mess around with Sam

Anonymous said...

this little polyg went to market
this little polyg stayed home
this little polyg had roast beef
this little polyg has none
and all the rest ran away crying "wa wa wa" after being kicked out of the homes

keep sweet eldorado,
stg

Anonymous said...

Ya know, that brings up an interesting point. When Uncle Rulon first took over, one of his pet peeves was the disparity between the "haves" and "have-nots" in the Creek. He undertook to eliminate class distinction among us. In contrast, the very minute Warren took over, class distinction was very important to your salvation. Judgment was placed based on last names, who your grandfather was ("Oh, we're dealing with THAT blood") and how much money you had to contribute. Soon the "haves" and the chosen had walls built around their homes and roads improved to their lots so they wouldn't have to drive their new SUVs over the dirt roads of the unwashed masses. Pretty glaring differences. Uncle Rulon was GIVEN a limousine to ride in and he wouldn't use it because of how it would appear to his people. Pretty interesting, isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Keep the songs coming, they are great! I could never wriet them but heres a few ideas for you:
Help me make it throught the night
Behind closed doors
Folsom (YFZ) Prison Blues
Girls night out

or maybe one about the last group who came to Texas and hunkered down in a church while trying to hold off an army:
Remember the Alamo

Anonymous said...

You can tell Warren, you never was my girl,
You can fill my bed when I am gone.
You can tell your new sister wives, just what a fool I've been,
And laugh and joke about me on the phone.

And you can tell my arms, go back into the grave,
You can tell my feet to hit the floor.
You can tell my lips, or tell my fingertips,
They won't be reaching out for you no more.

Don't tell Warren, achy breaky Warren,
I just don't think he'd understand.
'Cause if you tell Warren, achy breaky Warren,
He might blow up and kill this man.

You can tell your ma (that’s Mother you heathen), Who moved to Eldorado,
You can tell your dog (Willie T.) to bite my leg.
Or tell your brother Willie J, his fist can tear my lip,
He was always a sneaky coward anyway.

Tell your Aunt Louise (or is it Mother Louise now?), tell anything you please,
Everyone in Short Creek already knows im not ok.
You can tell my eyes, to watch out for Warren’s thugs,
They might be kicking me out sometime today.

Don't tell Warren, achy breaky Warren,
I just don't think he'd understand.
'Cause if you tell Warren, achy breaky Warren,
He might blow up and kill this man.

Anonymous said...

I'm not as good as the rest of you but this one doesn't need much changing. from Disney's Robin Hood.

I've tried to believe, that things weren't so bad ........... I'd up and leave if I had wings for flyin', can't you see the tears I'm cryin' ............. Can't there be some happiness for me? Not in new CC.

Any way, you get the drift

Anonymous said...

Who's on Warren's side who?
Now is the time to show
We ask it fearfully
Who's on Warren's side who?

There is no time to think
We work our lives away
To give of him our Wives
And our money's too

(loosely made from a Mormon Hymn)

Anonymous said...

Some of you folks are right talented. Just some of you. I have a few suggestions for adjustment: "I walk the Line" by Johnny Cash. And for the high Degree of Difficulty: "Did I shave My legs for This?"

Are you guys really supposed to be listening to country music?

Anonymous said...

Ballad of Warren’s younger minions

I keep a close watch on this mouth of mine (One time at missionary camp)
I keep my eyes wide open all the time. (What was that?)
I keep my wallet out for more empty promises that binds (another $1000.00 this month?)
Because you're mine, (your kidding right?)
I walk the line (Line, Plank what’s the difference?)

I find it very, very easy to be true (put your gonads in a vice and see how you like it!)
I find myself alone when each day is through (Where did everybody go?)
Yes, I'll admit I'm a fool for you (Baaaa Baaaaa BAAAAAAA!)
Because you're mine, (I can only bend so far my liege!)
I walk the line (is that a train coming this way?)

As sure as night is dark and day is light (umm, I can’t tell the difference anymore.)
I keep you on my mind both day and night (maybe the brakes will accidently fail on the tractor when you walk by)
And happiness I've known proves that it's right (bloody hell! We are out of Preparation ‘H’ again.)
Because you're mine, ( look at the pretty flowers, oh sorry they are only mushrooms)
I walk the line (Ever been treated like a mushroom? You know, kept in the dark and fed...#@!#?)

You've got a way to keep me on your side (careful there! I might want children!)
You give me cause for love that I cannot hide (you are not much fun since I quit drinking!)
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide (Please no, not again. I still have a rash from last time.)
Because you're mine, (Can we get a recount please?)
I walk the line (Note to self: when jumping from the temple, TIE OFF THE ROPE!!!)

Anonymous said...

My friend lives next door to a man who has taken several wives of other men. One evening while working in her yard, she stopped to watch a group of children. One little boy sadly said " I don't like that man in there, I want to go back to our father." Here is a little tune that reminds me of that sad situation.
We had fun - fun - fun
til the "profit" took
our daddy awaaaaay

Anonymous said...

Warren’s end of the world party

Blame it all on Warren’s roots
He is now one of history’s kooks
And he’s condemned us all to despair
I was the last one to know
The last one to show
I was the last one
Everyone thought they'd see there
And I saw the surprise
And the fear in Warren’s eyes
When I took his glass of kool-aide
And I toasted him
Said, hey, was that really you with the scythe and black cape?
Well you'll never hear me complain (he was kinda sexy with the red eyes and all.)

'Cause Warren’s got friends in low places
Where the Valium drowns
And the Prozac chases his paranoia away
But I will be okay (wont be long now, beam me up Scotty)
I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the Eldorado Oasis
Oh, Warren’s got friends in low places

Well, I guess I was wrong
I just don't belong
But then, I've been there before (did I ever tell you about that one time at missionary camp?)
Everything's about to be all right
I'll just say goodnight
And I'll show myself to the floor
Hey, I didn't mean
To cause a big scene (this kool-aide tastes kinda funny)
Just give me an hour and then
Well, we will all be as high (look at the pretty lights)
As that ivory temple
That you and Warren are livin' in

'Cause Warren’s got friends in low places Where the Valium drowns
And the Prozac chases his skeletons away
But I'll be okay
I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the Eldorado oasis (how come the world is spinning?)
Oh, because Warren’s got friends in low places


I guess I was wrong
I just don't belong
But then, I've been there before
And everything is more than alright
I'll just say goodnight (um yea, goodnight Irene...um who the heck is Irene anyway?)
And I'll show myself to the floor (didn’t we already do this once?)
I didn't mean to cause a big scene (aren’t there supposed to be fireworks or something?)
Just wait 'til I finish this glass (ok, some joker dumped Viagra in with the cyanide. At least we go out happy.)
Then sweet little lady (Devil Woman let go of me and leave me alone I want to go home...um sorry, wrong song.)
I'll head back to hale-bop (I wonder what the in-flight movie is on this stupid comet.)
And you and Warren can kiss my .... (south end of a north bound donkey. Come ‘ere Nellie...come on girl hold still, these fine people have a job to do.)

Anonymous said...

I’ve been alive forever it seems,
And I re-wrote the very first country song.
I sing of Warren’s, lack of sanity.
I am the music,
And I write the songs.

Because of Warren, I write the songs that make the whole world cringe.
I write the songs of his lack of love and horrific things.
I write the songs of how Warren makes all the children cry.
I write the songs, I right the wrongs.

Warren’s heart lies deep within a rock,
And he has hooks deep in your soul.
Now, when I look out through your eyes,
I'm crying thru the pain, even though it makes me old.

Because of Warren, I write the songs that make the whole world pray.
I write the songs of his lack of compassion and humanity.
I write the songs of how Warren makes all the children cry.
I write the songs, I right the wrongs.

Oh my music can make you laugh and dance
And gives you spirit to take a chance,
And I wrote the truth so you can see.
Let love and music renew your heart,
Well, that's a real fine place to start.
It's from me it's for you,
It's from you, it's for me,
It's a world wide tragedy.

Lets forget Warren, along with the world lets sing.
The songs of love, compassion and humility.
Lets gather the children and dance and play.
Lets join together, lets right the wrongs.
Lets right the wrongs, Lets right the wrongs.

Anonymous said...

I hear Warren’s caravan a comin'
He’s rollin' 'round the bend,
And I ain't seen the sunshine,
Since, I don't know when,
I'm stuck in YFZ Prison,
again the end of the world has come and gone,
But Warren keeps a-ramblin',
And he’s driving me insane.

When I was just a baby,
My Mama told me, "Son,
Always be a good boy,
Don't ever play with God,"
But I believed in Holy Warren,
Now I just want to die,
When I hear his mouth a ranting,
I hang my head and cry.

I bet Warren’s elite folks are eatin',
At the fancy temple Bar,
They're probably drinkin' kool-aide,
And burning all the old scriptures,
But I know I had it comin',
I know I can't be free,
I sold my soul to the holy profit,
And that's what tortures me.

Well, if they freed me from this prison,
If the YFZ temple was mine,
I bet I'd blow it up a little,
Across the Schleicher county line,
Far from YFZ Prison,
That's where I want to stay,
And I'd let the ten mega-ton explosion,
Blow my Blues away.

Anonymous said...

I hate to appear half-witted, but I can't always figure out what tune goes with these wonderful song parodies. Is it possible for the blog posters to please tell what song goes with the new "FLDS" version.

I hope you understand my stupidity and wll assist me in appreciating these Warren songs.

Also, while I am confessing my lack of intelligence - just what does "pingy pangy" mean? Is this a term used in everday language, or is this just an "Warrenism"?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, most of these guys COULD name the tune that they're trying to parody, but they're afraid you'll try to sing their inane words to the tune and find out that they can't rhyme or reason to save their souls. Great gravy, fellas! At least get SOME of the rhythm in there.

And I think that "pingy pangy" was an original, at least I never heard it anywhere else before. It's right up there in originality with "giggle-pussy" (Yeah, ask about that one. It oughtta raise a little furor of conversation)

Anonymous said...

OK Anon 11:01 PM you forced me to show my inquisitive nature. So what exactly is "giggle-pussy"?

Am I going to regret opening this can of worms?

Have at it Bloggers, inquisitive minds want to know.

Anonymous said...

If you cannot catch the rhyme its could be because your tone deaf when you read the words, or you simply don’t listen to the genre of music that the song is from.

I’m not a professional Parody writer which is most likely why I don’t get paid for it.

These are actually some good songs mostly. It’s kinda sad to see them mutilated so.
But, a little imagination goes along way. Lighten up, laugh a little.
Unless your ex-FLDS or drunk or stoned out of your mind, then laugh allot.

“The Ex-FLDS Theme song” is from Willie Nelson's "To all the girls I've Loved before"

"There's a tear in my beer" is an old song of Hank Williams of the same name.

"Oh Lord it's hard to be Humble" is from a song by Mac Davis of the same name.

“Achy breaky Warren” is from Billy Ray Cyrus's song "Achy Breaky Heart"

“Ballad of Warren's Younger Minions” is from Johnny Cash's song "I walk the line" which was by request.

“Warren's end of the world party” is from Garth Brook's Song "Friends in low places"

“I write the songs” is from Barry Manilow's song by the same name

“YFZ Prison blues” is from Johnny Cash's song "Folsom prison blues" also by request.

Anonymous said...

Pingy-pangy is a Warren original.
This is the term he relates to in his classes when he calls the beatles spawn of Satan because they supposedly hired Jimmy Hendrix to spice up their music with a beat and rhythm. Which then made the beatles famous playing the spawn of Satan’s beat learned from a black man.
Really sad that he thinks this way but many of the racist teachings he makes is quoted in LDS history taught by Brigham Young and John Taylor, early presidents of the Mormon Church.

well, its that or it could be something yet unknown to science rattling around in Warren’s head. The jury is still out on that one.

Anonymous said...

WOW - I can't believe that Hendrix was the guy Warren was referring to as the "homosexual black man" who helped give the Beatles' music its rhythm. I didn't know that Hendrix was gay.

Thanks for specifying which song goes with each parody. I figured out many of them, but I don't listen to country/western music, so I missed a couple.

Having said that, please don't ban me from this Blog because I don't listen to country/western music.

I'm a "rock and roll" kind of person and prefer that "pingy pangy" type of music.

But, personally, I think these song parodies are very clever and creative. And REALLY funny !!!

Anonymous said...

Parody of Ray Charles Georgia
as sung by texas cowgirl . . .

Warren, Warren,
The whole night through
Just an old sweet song
Keeps Warren on my mind

I say Warren,
Warren,
A song of you
Comes as sweet and clear
As moonlight through the pines

Other arms reach out to thee
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in YFZ dreams I see
The road leads back to you

I said Warren,
Ooh Warren, no peace I find
Just an old sweet song
Keeps Warren on my mind

Other arms reach out to thee
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in YFZ dreams I see
The road leads back to you

Warren,
Warren,
No peace, no peace I find
Just this old, sweet song
Keeps Warren on my mind

I said just an old sweet song,
Keeps Warren on my mind

Anonymous said...

The Translated version of Ray Charles’s “Georgia”

Warren, Warren,
The whole nightmare through
Just an old sweet thong
Keeps Warren on my mind

I say Warren, Warren,
A thong of yours
Comes as fragrant and clear
As a bad batch of moonshine through the pines

Other arms reach out to thee
Other eyes smile vindictivly
Still in YFZ horrific dreams I see
The road leads back to you

I said Warren,
Ooh Warren, no peace I find
Just an old dirty thong
Keeps Warren on my mind

Other arms reach out to thee
Other eyes smile dangerously
Still in YFZ night-terrors I still see
The road leads back to you

Warren, Warren,
No peace, no peace I find
Just this old, stained thong
Keeps Warren on my mind

I said just an old moldy thong,
Keeps Warren on my mind

Anonymous said...

I thought the black homosexual drug addict Warren was referring to was Little Richard, not Jimmy Hendrix. Am I wrong?

Anonymous said...

I did a Google search on Pingy-Pangy. Warren did NOT invent it.

Can we bring him up on trademark infringement now?

Anonymous said...

Where have all the Cowboys Gone?

Oh you get yourself ready in your 05 Chevy
While in C.C. I sit myself down in the Shade
I looked at a boy on my 13th Birthday
that's not allowed so they took me away
off to Texas, to theYFZ place
where a girl has a name but has no face
I will do their laundry while you pay all the bills

Where are the John Waynes?
Where are the Prairie Sons?
Where is my happy ending?
Where have all the cowboys gone?

While you enjoy your evening
kicking back and watching HBO
I'll be out picking and tending the fields
working at night so you don't I'm here
but don't you worry about me, I'll be keep sweet
I will raise their children, you will pay my bills

Where are the John Waynes?
Where are the Prairie Sons?
Where is my happy ending?
Where have all the cowboys gone?

I am wearing my new wedding dress tonight
for a man I don't, I don't even know
Say goodbyes
Say goodbyes
Say goodbyes

You finally bought your new Chevy
And I had yet another baby
But my hubby no longer notices me
He goes down over to the farm
looking at all the 12 year olds
wondering, hoping which one will soon become his
I will wash the dishes while you go have a beer

Where are the John Waynes?
Where are the Prairie Sons?
Where is my happy ending?
Where have all the cowboys gone?

Where are the Eldorado men?
Where are their shiny guns?
Just even a lonely ranger?
Where have all the cowboys gone?
Where have all the cowboys gone?
Where have all the cowboys gone?
Yippee yo, yippee yeah

keep sweet eldorado,
stg

Anonymous said...

'giggle-pussy' is a thing that Rulon said about his gaggle of young wives in telling them to sober up and quit their giggle-pussing

Anonymous said...

Gigglepuss - used to describe sillyness, is not a new word it is a spin off from Snagglepuss and Punkinpuss which were Hanna Barbera cartoon characters. Giggle-pussy is an intentional misquotation.

Anonymous said...

Reply to Anon 4/17 2:05
Yeah, Little Richard makes more sense than Hendrix. Little Richard has (had) tons of rhythm in comparison to Hendrix.

Anonymous said...

In reply to 4/18/2005 10:48 AM

So, please tell the lazy bloggers what you discovered from your GOOGLE search on "Pingy-Pangy" so we don't have to go look it up. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

The Prophet of the lord of flies Warren Jeffs has the most horrible voice, if ever you heard him sing. May I be one who shares in his song, "Yearning For Those Texas Prison Blues."

ROFLMAO in Texas

Anonymous said...

Street's Reply: Yes, I street will share in those Texas prison blues with Warren, the prophet of The Lord of Flies, and especially since I street have prayed for it. But it won't stop there. No the black gentlemen at the TDCJ will be waiting for you and Warren to drop that bar of soap It'll follow you into the next cell block , my dear.

Yes ole Warren will will be singing the Texas Prison Blues!

Yes sir ole Warren will be singing those ole Texas Prison blues cause he's Huntsville bound.

LMAO here in the great State of Texas!