Tuesday, June 07, 2005

THE MOVIE "Warren Jeffs Profit of God"

In a little lighter humor, if a movie was in the works to chronicle the life and times of Warren Jeffs, who would play his part? Looking at the many people who lived this life, who would make up the cast of everyone else? Would you fil it on location or select another small community with a similiar back drop? I will explain this later, but who would play your part in such an epic film?

To get this started I had thought John Malkovich would make a good Warren, Holly Hunter playing Flora, Richard Dreyfuss playing me! Its easy, just imagine the characters and think of a look-a-like or a stereotype. The pilot could play himself! Debbie Palmer needs a character, Winston and so on. Don't forget someone for Mark Shurtleff and Janet Napolitano. Dr. Phil can play himself as well.

Who would you cast in what role and why? Jodie Foster or Helen Hunt could play Ruth! Think of the posibilities, a cast of several hundred, then the extras, another 300-400. Charlton Heston is 79, if if health permits he could play Rulon Jeffs. If you have a better cast, tell me whom it would be?

MIB

82 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, that's stupid.

Anonymous said...

Pretty darn big-headed too.

Anonymous said...

Dream on Napoleon.

Anonymous said...

MIB
It seems to me that you really need to do something a little more worth while. You obviously have way to much free time.

Hose A. Kwervo said...

Hey dude...I nominate John Lovitz to play MIB. You remember ugly dude from Saturday Night Live.

"I'll sell ya' some tapes...I'll sell ya' some books...No cash? Don't worry, I take plastic. Yeaaah, that's the ticket!"

Inside_Out said...

Aawwhh, Jay's just trying to have a little fun, you creekers don't take everything so seriously. I vote for Benny Hill for the role of Wendell Nielson and Tim Conway for Merrill Jessop's role. Andy Griffith for Dan Barlow, and Boss Hog for Sam Barlow. This is fun!

Anonymous said...

How about Julia Roberts as Atar_i, Billy Graham as Mugwump and Don Knotts as Sheriff Doran.

Men In Black said...

Well maybe John Lovitz, though I thought Richard Dreyfuss was more scruffy. My daughter thought Joe Pesci or Bob Hoskins could play Winston. In all seriousness who would play you? You don't have to give up your name to offer a actor. There is always Danny Divito!

As for time, that is all any of us have, use it wisely!

Men In Black said...

Boss Hog, Wow... I forgot all about him. I've seen pictures of Doran, he is more like a Steven Seagal, he is 54, how old is David?

Hose A. Kwervo said...

Hey dude, Street has to play himself. I don't know any actors psychotic enough to play the little retard. Besides, he's been playing (with) hiself for such a long time.

As for me...I want Benjamin Bratt. Come to think of it, so does my wife!

Men In Black said...

What was the Deputy's name in the Sheriff Lobo series with Claude Akin? I think his name was Perkins in the TV series!

Anonymous said...

Who was the crooked sheriff in Billy Jack? He could play Kirk Smith!

Hose A. Kwervo said...

Hey, MIB dude, I was just pulling your leg. OK?

Anonymous said...

Jack Nicholson could play Street. Isn't he the one that flew over the cookoo's nest ?

Men In Black said...

I had to run an erron, but another suggestion came in with Michael Jackson needing money, but who could he play? Warren comes to mind, but I haven't seen streety!

A smaller storyline was discussed with Davis Entertainment acouple of years ago. Fact being stranger than fiction, someone asked recently and got me thinking of all the posibilities. To bad Colorado City is not open to such an idea, movie people spend 50 million or more now days making a film and that would improve the areas economy very quickly.

Years ago and closer to Bountiful, I was an extra in the worlds most expensive flop at the time, filmed on location in Montana. It was the late 1970s, Michael Cimino had just finished "The Deer Hunter" and was spending a blank check with "Heavens Gate". It was a 46 million dollar flop, but it supercharged the Flathead County economy that suffered that year from failed crops.

You are probably right about the idea of a film dying, but at one time folks were serious enough to have several of us meet with them, so you just never know!

Anonymous said...

Pee Wee Herman as Warren

ATAR_i said...

In a couple years Dakota Fanning would make a great 'child bride - she's 11 now.

And of course Sissy Spacek would make a great mom.

OK - you can choose Julia for me - or Charlize Theron. (but I'm not vain :))

I like Jeff Bridges for a good Texan (maybe Pilot)

Lloyd Bridges might make a crusty FLDS man

Jim Carrey or Marty Feldman might be able to be a good OTS - He does nuts really good

I think Rene Zelwegger could do a convincing Ruth.

Brendan Fraser could play Stinger

Ed Harris would be a good dramatic actor - maybe Antique or Winston

Joaquin Pheonix and Ryan Gosling might be good lost boys, but slightly grown up.

Martin Landau (is he still alive) could be Rulon

Anonymous said...

Matin Landau would be good even if he's not still alive.

Men In Black said...

I thought Martin Landau had passed, but I'm not sure, he was pretty old in "The Majestic" with Jim Carey. Actually Jim Carey would make a great Warren with those facial expressions. Marty Feldman passed in like maybe 1984. Many of the greats are gone. I think whomever suggested Benny Hill, might have to dig him up to, I thought he passed on, though the complextion might me a fit.

Anonymous said...

I recommend Tommy Lee Jones and Tom Selleck as a couple of crusty old Texas Rangers who ride into the YFZ Ranch like John Wayne and clear out Warren (played by a young Bruce Dern) and his minions.

Anonymous said...

I vote for whomever said that Pee Wee Herman should be Warren. Pee Wee is just goofy enough looking and they would have their sexual escapades to discuss off set.

How about Slim Pickins for Dan Barlow. You know how he speaks so much but says so little.

And Brian Dennehy (sp?) could be Yosemite Sam Roundy. Big gut and likes to play a tough guy. He'd be perfect.

Anonymous said...

Quoting ATAR_i, at 6/7/2005 7:19 PM

In a couple years Dakota Fanning would make a great 'child bride - she's 11 now.

She's the perfect age right now. Why wait a couple of years??? Age 11 works for a child bride.

Anonymous said...

I think the name of the movie should be "Warren or Winston - Profits from God" instead.

ATAR_i said...

Pee Wee Herman - he could really capture Warren's 'man/boy love' with a genuiness that others might not be able to.

Anonymous said...

Too bad Walter Brennan is dead - he'd make a great Uncle Fred Jessop.

I like Bruce Willis for Sheriff Kirk Smith. Bad guys should play bad guys.

How about Michael Douglas for Mark Shurtleff? Michael Douglas does a great job playing a noble role.

I would like to see George Clooney in there somewhere. Could he play Sheriff David Doran? Doran looks pretty dapper from the photos I've seen.

What about James Cahn for Winston Blackmore. A Cahn playing a "con".

Anonymous said...

Do you think Little Richard could write the musical score? It would need just the right pingy-pangy touch.

Stinger said...

Chalk up another vote for Pee Wee Herman as warren.

Anonymous said...

I don't know, I kinda like the Grinch for the Warren role.

He's a foul one...Mr Jeffs
He really is a heel
He robs Crickers of their money
Just to hear them squeal.

Of course, Cindy Lou Who, who was only two, would only be a mere ten birthdays away from motherhood!

Men In Black said...

I should of included suggested titles, nothing is carved in stone. An epic movie like "Moses" or "Ben Hur" on the wide screen would be great, the episodes on Dr. Phil and "A Current Affair" could be trailers for the upcoming event. Most of the script is already written with the prior court cases and the cassettes, someone just needs to memorize the lines.

Men In Black said...

James Cahn is to tall for Winston, to old too!

Men In Black said...

Who would you get to play Jerald Williams?

Men In Black said...

To bad Raymond Burr has passed, he might of made a good Jack Knudson, depending on how far back the story goes. Getting that wheelchair thing down can be a real trick!

Anonymous said...

for supporting cast:

the Osmond's to play the creekers

South Park kids, warren's closest followers

Teletubbies, the washington county police department

for the runaways, just go to the Spearmint Rhino in Vegas and take your pick. whores to play whores to keep it authentic. don't want to upset warren.

stg

Anonymous said...

OK, then Richard Dreyfuss will have to play the part of Winston Blackmore, not the part of MIB.

There needs to be someone kind of affable, cute, short and pudgy to play Winston. Besides, the age would be right, too.

AND you would need to have a good actor (RD) play the part of a good actor (WB).

Works for me.

Anonymous said...

Men In Black said...

To bad Raymond Burr has passed, he might of made a good Jack Knudson, depending on how far back the story goes. Getting that wheelchair thing down can be a real trick!

Is Christopher Reeves available? (no disrespect for Christopher Reeves meant)

Anonymous said...

how could anyone leave out Charleton Heston! He played Moses, and also played Brigham Young in a movied about the Danites in early Salt Lake Mormon Days. He would be exactly the right age for Rulon Jeffs.

Anonymous said...

Possible movie title:

"Warren Does Eldorado" - a takeoff on the old "Debbie Does Dallas".

The theme of the movie could be how everyone at the YFZ ranch gets screwed - literally and figuratively.

And since there will be child brides involved, then this has to be an "R" rated movie. No other rating would work for a story on Warren Jeffs.

Men In Black said...

How about Angelina Jolie as The Governor of Arizona in that Tomb Raider garb and Nicholas Cage as a rugged Terry Goddard Attorney General of Arizona.

What about Jack Webb is he still with us? Isn't there a Joe Friday here somewhere? Nevermind deceased December 1982....

Mills Watson is still alive! from "The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo" How about a young Sam Barlow? Mills is a thick or sturdy 65!

Anonymous said...

I thought it was obvious... who but steve buscemi could play warren?

Anonymous said...

Nope, I think Jack Webb is BBFN. Dan Adkroyd played Sgt. Joe Friday in the most recent re-make.

Angelina Jolie is all wrong to play the part of Janet Napolitano - MUCH too feminine of an actress to play the role of "the Janet". No, that part needs a much "crustier" actress. Someone like Kathy Bates.

But I do agree with the idea of Nicholas Cage for the AZ AG Terry Goddard. That casting would work in my opinion.

Anonymous said...

This movie could be made like the one the LDS Mormon church made about Joseph Smith, called the "Power and the Glory". But it would be about Warren Jeffs and the FLDS Mormon church and called the "Profit and the Poorly".

Anonymous said...

OOPS

I think the LDS Mormon movie was actually called the "Work and the Glory".

I guess it was a Freudian slip on my part.

But, hey, aren't both of these Mormon churches really after power and control ???

So, maybe my faux pas was the truth (that hurts).

Anonymous said...

I vote Warren as Earnest P. Warral

Stinger said...

Jay, what about getting Will Smith to reprise his role as Agent Jay of MIB?

GBNF said...

Michael Jackson,Woody Allen or Pee Wee Herman as the part of Warren

Wilford Brimley as Uncle Fred

Richard Dreyfuss as MIB

Paris Hilton as Flora

Jason Alexander as Winston

Gary Oldman as bishop Willy

Bruce Willis gains 140lbs for the part of bodyguard Willy Jessop

William H Macy as Truman Barlow
Kathy Bates as Karen Barlow

Jeffrey Tambor as Louis Barlow, Sr.

Jeffrey Jones as Sam Barlow

Alec Baldwin as Dan Barlow

Meryl Streep as a polygamous woman that is commanded to leave her husband and marry one of his sons 40 years her junior

Boris Karloff is dug up to play the soon to be resurected Rulon Jeffs

Sandra Bullock as Atar

Mathew McConaughey as Stinger

Bill Murray as Street Fruit

GBNF said...

Oh, I forgot Ruth... "Lorrain Bracco wins and Oscar for her role as the crazed Warren loving Ruth babbling incoherently about Satin and wandering the highways and byways...."

Kenneth Branagh as Alvin Barlow, whom else could be so arrogant?

Men In Black said...

Stinger said...
Jay, what about getting Will Smith to reprise his role as Agent Jay of MIB?

6/8/2005 10:21 AM

Wil Smith is fine for me, as long as Michael Jackson still has a shot at Uncle Warren. You aren't suggesting that Will take melanin shots are you?

ATAR_i said...

OK - Pee Wee - he has the dashing good looks - NOT

The criminal background

The ability to look totally gay

But can masquerade with women if necessary

Who is the genius who thought him up - amazing insight!

Anonymous said...

I think renee zellweger would make with black hair,a very good Lori Chatwin.She and Lori share some feistyness.

Anonymous said...

Yes Yes.The "Cold-Mountainn"Renee Zellweger wuold suit lori perfctly.

Stinger said...

I thought Will Simth did such a good job as Agent Jay of MIB before that he might as well be him again.

GBNF said...

If Will Smith is Agent Jay, then why not Michael Jackson as Warren, and Bill Cosby as Uncle Fred? Denzel Washington could play Dan Barlow....Queen Latifa as Flora

Stinger said...

But then the warrenites won't be allowed to watch the movie.

11th child said...

Its a really good thing you people aren't casting a movie because you suck at deciding who should be who. You guys should meet these people before you start matching them to actors. First of all why would Brendan Fraser play stinger? I think that Adam Sandler or Ben Stiller are alot closer. And bye the way nobody could play the role of Winston except himself. But then what would I know i'm just his daughter.

Anonymous said...

First Child
11th Child, Why don't you see if he would play the Role. If he would say yes I'll contact Steven Speilberg and we'll get started! That is very exciting. I've got the connection - lets do it. You could be in the Movie too - as yourself. Just post if its a go and we'll get started.

Anonymous said...

You left out one thing: The earth quake and the tornadoes. Who will play that. I do not think God was playing when they came last. Who would play with your lifes, You bumbling fools.

Anonymous said...

Lighten up and learn how to have a little fun in your life.

Life is a gift; don't go through it all full of doom and gloom.

Don't worry; be happy!

11th child said...

Dude who said I'm not happy with my life and who said im not having fun. I love my life and I love my family. And what does thunder and earthquakes have to do with anything? Also I have no interest in being in any movie and neither does my Father. And bye the way I am a very happy person. Ask anybody that knows me. Also we don't need anyone to play with our lives. We do a good enough job all by ourselves.

Stinger said...

I think 9:42 was talking to 8:51.

8:51,
Since my part is to be filled by Brendan or Adam, both of whom I think are worthy choices, BTW, I will volunteer to play a dual role are the earthquakes and the tornados. I can also do a mean impersonation of a tsunami and a train wreck.
Also, I think we should get Peter Jackson to direct. I loved what he did with Lord of the Rings. (Gollum would be great as either warren or street.)

Stinger said...

Mathew McConaughey would be pretty good as me also, although he doesn't have my dashing good looks or my roguish charm.
I forgot to mention that I can do a good impersonation as a house fire. And three of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.

11th child said...

Good one Stinger. I totally agree with you.

Anonymous said...

hey stinger, in my meager, humble opinion, I think maybe Jim Carey or even Steve Martin would be a good match. What do you think?

NAME

Stinger said...

Good match for who?

Anonymous said...

I think Jay should play Warren. He knows how to tape people that don't know they are being taped, keep files on them, publish facts that are just gossip, and he thinks that everyone but himself is involved in a conspiracy. Get yourself a few more woman J and you would be perfect for the job.

GBNF said...

How about a gender-bender twist:
Anne Heche as Warren
Judy Dench as Rulon
Joan Plowright as Uncle Fred
Kathy Bates as Winston
Rosie O'Donnel as Willy Jessop
Kirsty Alley as Bishop Willy

Jane Fonda as Jay Beswick
Sandra Bullock as Stinger
Mathew McConaughey as Atari

Anonymous said...

sorry stinger, I meant to say they would be a good match for YOU.

NAME

Stinger said...

See, that's the problem I have when anyone does a movie with me in it. There are sooooo many actors clamouring to play my part. Phone rings off the hook. (Sorry Peirce, like I was just telling Mel, you boys are to old)(Arnold, baby, I don't think this will be an action flick. You would need to beef up a bit more, anyway.)

Men In Black said...

GBNF said...
How about a gender-bender twist:
Anne Heche as Warren
Judy Dench as Rulon
Joan Plowright as Uncle Fred
Kathy Bates as Winston
Rosie O'Donnel as Willy Jessop
Kirsty Alley as Bishop Willy

Jane Fonda as Jay Beswick
Sandra Bullock as Stinger
Mathew McConaughey as Atari

You must of seen;

To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything!...


Year: 1995
Starring: Wesley Snipes
Patrick Swayze
John Leguizamo
Stockard Channing
Blythe Danner
Arliss Howard
Jason London
Chris Penn

Director: Beeban Kidron

Genre: Comedy

Snipes & Swayze playing crossed dressers in drag! I think you're right it might attract a broader audience and what the heck, Jane still looks good in her 60's, an Erin Brockovich kind of role!

Men In Black said...

Anonymous said...
I think Jay should play Warren. He knows how to tape people that don't know they are being taped, keep files on them, publish facts that are just gossip, and he thinks that everyone but himself is involved in a conspiracy. Get yourself a few more woman J and you would be perfect for the job.

6/11/2005 10:10 AM

Ahh...
I'm J. Edgar Hoover now!

Anonymous said...

GBNF said...
If Will Smith is Agent Jay, then why not Michael Jackson as Warren, and Bill Cosby as Uncle Fred? Denzel Washington could play Dan Barlow....Queen Latifa as Flora

6/8/2005 4:57 PM

Right now I would be concerned if I was GBNF, The Southern Poverty Law Center follows these postings and who knows what could get read into such a one sided suggestion?

Stinger said...

How is that a one sided suggestion?

GBNF said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
GBNF said...

MIB,
You almost "get it"! (Too Wong Foo, a good giggle!)

Anon 6/11/2005 5:08 PM,
You didn't get it! I have to ask myself why you have issues with these fine actors: Will Smith, Bill Cosby, Denzel Washington, & Queen Latifa...even I have issues with Michael Jackson, but he looks the part.

ATAR_i said...

GBNF email me

Anonymous said...

I saw Paul Rueben or Pee Wee Herman on Mysterious Men, his makeup as Warren would be perfect!

I think that post above may be to racist or so the sharp point was made. Being that this is all in good humor is great, but considering the Southern Poverty Law Center has been monitoring this site, suggesting gender benders verses race issues may or may not be in good taste. With a well and undefined audience, some could take offense if we carry this casting call to far.

Its really none of my business, but thats how I read the posting. Pee Wee plays humor and Patrick Swayze cross dressed, but some actors take their selections for roles more serious in other directions.

Its just an observation...

onthestreet said...

ADMIN:

I'm trying to create my own thread on my own, so I can edit my thread as needed. I emailed you about this over a week ago, but no response. So I posted my request on several threads. Still no response. Did you die, are you okay?

Now I know that you emailed me back, and this is what you said:

Date: Tue, 07 Jun 2005 09:11:03 -0500
From: "Texas Polygamy"
Contact Details
Subject: Re: STREET

Sorry, only admn...or users with admin authority can delete posts. There is no need to copy and paste old posts simply to keep them at the top. If they are old posts, let them cycle off to the archives.
Weblog Admin

ADMIN: I'm not trying to "keep posts on top. How vain is that? Just need to be able to edit my own thread, you see?

Now, I clicked on the red blog logo in the upper left corner of the blog page, and got the next page, but there was no green plus sign. So I need admin authority to edit my own thread, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. How about it?

Hey, maybe you don't read all the threads, I don't know. Tell you what: I'll post this request on all the threads, so you'll see it.

Thank you Sir.
Street

onthestreet said...

UNCLE WARREN! HAPPY FATHERS DAY!

May God bless you forever with faithful children, as numerous as the stars of heaven.

Anonymous said...

I THINK THAT OZZY OSBORNE WOULD BE A GOOD WARREN HES UGLY ENOUGH ANY WAY. AND A REALLY BIG CREEP

Stinger said...

Ozzy can sing better;)

anon in the states said...

I agree with stinger he defintaly has a better voice then warren

Men In Black said...

A tragic drama unfolds
Justice must play the starring role in saga of polygamist cult

Jun. 22, 2005 12:00 AM

The characters are right out of a central casting: The reclusive leader of a cult with a $100 million trust fund. Child brides forced into polygamous marriages. Lost boys run out of town so they can't compete for wives. Prosecutors whose efforts may seem slow, but whose tenacity is essential.

The setting is Colorado City, Ariz., and Hildale, Utah, twin towns where secrets like domestic violence, incest, child abuse and the sodomizing of little boys are only revealed in the hesitant voices of those who escape, and the cold phrases of civil lawsuits filed against a cult called the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

The plot includes hideaways in Texas, Canada, Wyoming, Colorado, Nevada and Mexico, where the now-missing FLDS leader Warren Jeffs may be holed up. It includes soothing promises from a Texas sheriff that he will not storm the cult's Texas compound in response to an Arizona criminal warrant issued against Jeffs earlier this month. That's because this thriller of sex, violence and greed in the name of God also includes the potential to explode into another Waco. advertisement




At least that's the fear.

Fear has long protected a group built on polygamy and cult strategies of mind control. For five decades, law enforcement officials feared the consequences of moving against a cult leader whose followers allow him to control every aspect of their lives.

That has been changing. Prosecutors have been moving, slowly and surely, over the past few years to build cases.

Earlier this month, a Mohave County grand jury indicted Jeffs on charges involving the "celestial" marriage of a 16-year-old girl to a married man. Mohave County Attorney Matthew Smith has said 10 to 15 additional cases are pending.

Smith is part of a task force that includes Arizona Attorney General Terry Goddard and Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff. Thanks to Goddard and Shurtleff's efforts, a Utah court is being asked today to permanently freeze Jeffs' access to the cult's multimillion-dollar trust.

A law passed earlier this year will enable Goddard to move against the cult-controlled Colorado City Unified School District, where Jeffs' puppets bought an airplane, yet bounced teacher paychecks.

In addition, there are several civil lawsuits against Jeffs, one alleging he repeatedly raped his young nephew.

Frustrated Arizonans may wonder what took so long. But a more effective question now is: What more will it take?

The pressure is on to crack a cult. It must continue.

The prosecutors who are moving against the excesses of this cult need the continued support of their communities. In addition, those communities have to be willing to help women, children and men who may emerge from a cult where they are kept uneducated and suspicious of the outside world.

The end of this drama is a long way off, but justice can prevail.

It must prevail because it is the lives, rights and dignity of real people - not characters from central casting - that are at stake.

onthestreet said...

. . . of real people, the FLDS people who remain faithful under a prophet.