Tuesday, September 13, 2005

The Articles of FLDS Faith

The Revised Articles of Faith (or Fear) for the FLDS.

We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and Warren Jeffs and in the Holy Ghost.

We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and right now is a good time to punish them, not for Adam's transgression.

We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, a few select may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.

We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Warren Jeffs; second, NO Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.

We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof. And WJ can give the authority for himself to call him a prophet and then cut off the ones that called him to be a prophet.

We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth. We believe it but don't live it.

We believe in the gifts of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth. (but only to the prophet Warren Jeffs)

We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God. (but we don't read them or apply them, we are too busy reading the current prophets revelations)

We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God. (this is the important one, the destructions are comming, the destructions are comming)

We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory. (And it will start in Texas and only the FLDS that are "good" will be lifted up while the destructions happen)

We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may. (so leave us alone)

We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law. (We don't believe this anymore)

We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to only the FLDS, we can steal and cheat if it is for the kingdom of GOD; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul -- We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. (this is just another indurance test) If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

We believe that God has called us to come out of the world, and money is bad, so hand over your donations, so that the prophet can isolate himself from the wickedness of this generation.

(My interpetation of the original Articles of Faith presented by Joseph Smith, and the FLDS say that Warren Jeffs hasn't changed anything.)

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am glad to hear how all their mumpo jumbo has been justified these many years... Thanks for the insight...

Anonymous said...

HILLLLLLAAARRRIIIIOOOUUUSSS!!!!! KEEP EM COMMIN' RHI

Anonymous said...

sic 'em rumor.

Anonymous said...

ha ha thats too funny!

Anonymous said...

loved it. good one!

fttc said...

Which volume of warren's sermons is that in? It has to be a direct quote!

Anonymous said...

Use every piece of God's armor to resist the enemy in the time of evil, so that after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News, so that you will be fully prepared. In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery arrows aimed at you by Satan. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray at all times and on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all Christians everywhere.

Anonymous said...

God, Warren, Jesus in the same sentence. You forgot the Buddha, Mohammad, and Rev. Moon, also Mickey Mouse, Darth Vader and most of all “Santa Clause". Give me a break. I bet you also believe Iraq has nuclear arms and weapons of mass destruction or Halliburton has no influence on the Bush administration.

ATAR_i said...

Nice job RHI

Anonymous said...

This dispensation belongs to Joseph Smith, NOT Warren Jeffs! I feel that these articles are a good illustration of how a wicked man can lead people astray. I say again, Warren Jeffs has just as much power as his people give him. If they will wake up and smell the coffee, they will realize that they have been duped. I fervently pray that they will wake up soon before it is too late. Warren does not care about anyone but his own feelings, and his own agenda. Please people, wake up! Do your own thinking! Go to God and ask him in Jesus' name, not in Warren's name! If you do, you will find the truth, and just maybe you can escape the tyranny of King Jeffs!

Anonymous said...

There, there (patting each other on the back) we're not really as bad as these people say now are we. We'll just keep denying these things are being done and maybe they will go away. Maybe if we put on a good show warren won't adjust us any further. Maybe we can keep our families for a while longer. It's not doubt now is it? We must keep sweet and have faith. There, (with a big hug) carry on now, don't let these evil people with their assessment of our situation distract you.

fttc said...

From what I can see I think Rumor learned these from Street. I wonder why he has a problem with them. Maybe Anon 6:53 is visionary.

Anonymous said...

OK STREET

HOW AND WHEN CAN THE ALL WHO OFFENDED UNCLE WARREN'S SPIRIT COME BACK TO UNCLE WARREN.

WHEN WILL UNCLE WARREN FORGIVE AND FORGET.....

GOD FORGIVES AND FORGETS THOSE WHO REPENT.

STREET WHAT IS THE ANSWER!

YOU HAVE NO ANSWER DO YOU?

Anonymous said...

he doesn't have the answer because he really can't comprehend the question

rumor-has-it said...

OTS

I care more about myself than I do about the so called prophet and I realize FREEDOM is calling.

God doesn't just talk to Warren Jeffs, he is within every heart and no one else can make the best decisions for you,

(esp Warren Jeffs, he can kick you out just on rumors)

fttc said...

Street, I think that was Rumors point. The FLDS ARE faithless thanks to a man they chose to worship in place of God.

Anonymous said...

True fttc, the FLDS are now a non-prophet for profit organization.

rumor-has-it said...

Throughout the years we (FLDS) have heard the maxim "Perfect Obedience produces Perfect Faith". We would help the little children say it in Sunday School.

I say "Perfect Obedience to a wayward prophet makes Perfect Slaves"

rumor-has-it said...

By the way I didn't get kicked out on rumors, I walked away.

People that get kicked out act and sound just like you. They worship the ground Warren Jeffs walks on and realize there is no forgiveness but somehow they might just beat the odds. They think that by being on Warren Jeffs side and protecting him and standing up for him will somehow make the wrongs right. Their wrongs and His wrongs.

Anonymous said...

Lucretius the poet, when he beheld the act of Agamemnon, that could endure the sacrificing of his own daughter, exclaimed:

"Tantum Religio pontuit suadere malorum"

{to what evil deeds religion urges men}

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Isaiah 5:20.. read on..

Anonymous said...

Hey Rumor-has-it:
I sent my email adress to the blog administrator to send on to you so I could contact you but I guess he hasn't done it. If I post my email address here would you contact me?
--a friend

weblog administrator said...

To Anon 5:15

Your email address was forwarded as per your request. That's all I can do. Sorry if you've had no response.

Weblog Admin

fttc said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
fttc said...

Street

You have learned well from your master. He is expert at tweaking the scriptures to match his own ideas.

"Faith is the SUBSTANCE of things hoped for, the EVIDENCE of things not seen."

You exchange the word knowledge for evidence and then deduce that since you and others have "knowledge" that warren is a prophet it proves you have faith. Let's put in the proper word and see the evidence that he is a prophet. Have his prophecies come true? There is another thread dedicated to this and the answer is no. Where is the evidence of warren recieving authority? We have a chain of authority we can trace for other prophets, they have not made it a great secret. Why has he? The lack of evidence shows that you cannot have faith in this man by your own methods of logic.

BTW knowledge is the end of faith not the beginning.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Blog Admin.

fttc said...

Your arguments come from a false premise. Your foundation is not even as solid as the sand in the parable. It is built on castles in the air which fall without even the rain to wash them away. They collapse as soon as the the dreams in your head cease.

Anonymous said...

Ohhhhhhh,but DAMN! You're So Funny, Street!

I am so totally amused by this little duel!

.......Touche....shall we say, eh, Mugsy, ol'boy?

Carry on, boys! A bit of sport to liven up this otherwise bald and uninteresting narrative!

I'm off to me bed, now....Wake me when the old chap comes 'round....

Anonymous said...

You do realize what we have here, don't you?

We have a few slightly educated imbiciles who are desperately attempting to hide the fact that they remain unpolished; foolish.

These boorish cave-boys fail to recognize the glaring truth that if they truly believe the doctrine they so crudely interperet, the primitive verbal-clubbing wouldn't even be happening.

I don't know if you can accept this, guys, but one of the things you're going to have to sacrifice in order to further your intellectual is your bad-mannered bellowing at anyone who disagrees with your point of veiw.

Anonymous said...

And I say: Keep on bellowing, streety! You are so cute when you bellow! I'd fight with you anyday (or night) *Huhmmwuh*

Anonymous said...

You're welcome, Streetie~boy!

Anonymous said...

from "Far Side"

Welcome to Heaven, here's your harp.

Welcome to Hell, here's you accordian.

furnace said...

Generally, when chalkboards are involved, there is intelligent discussion going on, too.

Anonymous said...

more like the braying of a wild donkey.

Anonymous said...

huh?

Anonymous said...

more like the pitiful squeek of a dying mouse.