Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Whoa, Nellie!!

What's this I keep reading about the LDS (fundamental and mainstream) beliefs about the afterlife? Do I understand correctly that men get their own planet, complete with a ton of wives, whose job it is to stay eternally pregnant?

Is this for real?

137 comments:

Anonymous said...

Could we be anymore facitious?

Anonymous said...

What do non Mormons get? What does anybody get? Who really knows but the dead? Any volunteers to go check it out and send word back?

Stinger said...

I don't think I've ever heard this one, Native.

Anonymous said...

What is a Celestial Kingdom?

Anonymous said...

Joseph Smith, Jr., the founder of Mormonism, description of the afterlife was based primarily upon a vision he reportedly received together with his associate Sidney Rigdon, at Hiram, Ohio, February 16, 1832, and recorded in Doctrine and Covenants, Section 76.

According to Smith and Rigdon, the afterworld consists of three "degrees of glory", called the Celestial Kingdom, the Terrestrial Kingdom (terrestrial meaning "earthly"), and the Telestial Kingdom (the word telestial is a neologism not used in other contexts; see its own article for some possible derivations). According to this doctrine, only those who attain the Celestial Kingdom will be united with their families in the eternities. Children who die before the age of eight all reach the Celestial Kingdom in the afterlife, as well as those who did not have the chance to recieve the gospel in this life, but do in the post-mortal spirit world (see Baptism for the Dead). Persons who reach maturity will only be judged by God to be worthy of the Celestial Kingdom if they have performed all required ordinances (baptism, endowment, and sealing), repented of their sins, and remained faithful to the end of their life.

ThePilot

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

So are polygamous families the only ones entitled to enjoy their own planet in the celestial kingdom?

What is heaven like when you die if you're a devout Mormon? For example, is the planet thing with all the wives just a joke or is it for real?

Anonymous said...

There is nothing in any book of Mormon scripture about those things. There are written records of speeches by early leaders of the Church, that are not scriptural, and may be their own speculation that allude to these things. It is mostly fodder for the anti's.

We Mormons don't spend much time on those topics. We're plenty busy enough as it is.

Anonymous said...

To the blog administrator.....

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

So what you're trying to tell me is that you spend your whole lives toiling away, giving your time and money to church, not even thinking about the end result?

You're trying to tell me you're so busy working toward Heaven that nobody has time to talk about it??

Anonymous said...

These people piss on the shoes of all the other millions (make that billions) Christians around the world who make an honest attempt at living their faith and are thankful of the their countries that allow them to do so.

goes something like this.

--------------------------------------
Man meets God and Jesus at the gate

Man: "Father I have sinned, but I've lived a good Christian life and have accepted the blood of your son Jesus. I ask for your forgiveness"

God: "Son, you've done well in life and I accept your soul into my kingdom. You may pass through these gates"

Man: after passing though the gates "My, this place is beautiful and that place up above is even better..."

God: "Yeah, you can stay here all you want, but not that place up above. That's reserved for Priesthood. You know, the men with many wives"

Man: "What?... What's this you're telling me here, Lord...I put up with fifty plus years of my wife and all the crap that goes with it and the whole time is was alright for me to have been shopping around for more and younger wives? Even my neighbor's teenage daughters?... Worse Yet...because I didn't, your telling me that I'm now stuck with the cheap seats while those other guys up there, are sitting in the front row?..for the rest of eternity!?"

God: "yep..that's how it works"

Man, "I don't want to be a skeptic or anything, Lord, but don't you think it would have been wise to mention this whole deal in the bible somewhere? And Jesus, you were on earth for 35 years, maybe you could have set aside a few moments to discuss this matter or just maybe even a few words at the last supper or something, anything?"

Jesus, "...Well, you know how things get when you get really busy and have half of the Roman Empire chasing you around all the time...You forget a little here and a little there and things begin to slip...Besides those guys in Utah figured it out and it's not our fault you weren't born in Utah...erra oops, yeah, it was..., silly me"

-----------------------

keep sweet eldorado
stg

Anonymous said...

that's good stuff. keep it up!

Anonymous said...

God is Just. It doesn't matter what we mortals bicker about. He will take care of us all and give out just rewards.
It is my belief that we will be judged by what we did with what we were given. We will not be judged by what someone else thinks we should be doing, or not doing. Just living the best we know how.

Anonymous said...

I flew over compound today. There are more people in the fields than I have seen in a while; about 15-20 women and children – up from the usual 3 or 4. It was an official flight today. We were looking for several abandoned wells that are going to be re-entered. This is sure to make Warren a little mad. There is going to put a slush pit in the middle of Zion. It turns out that YFZ has few mineral rights. They are owned by everyone else. He will have a scenic view of a pump jack ( or 2 or 3) out of the temple and he will not even get the royalties. Welcome to West Texas!!

ThePilot

Just a Girl said...

I want to approach the topic of planets with discretion and sensitivity for those who are FLDS, this might be hard to hear.

It begins so long ago, with the prophet MORONi and his sister SMARTi. The male line of this family suffered from dyslexia, and, unfortunately MORONi did as well.

When his sister SMARTi listened to his revelations about polygamy she was amazed. Unfortunately, when he wrote them down, they were opposite of his spoken revelations. By the time SMARTi realized his error it was too late, written forever the wrong way. SMARTi's however knew the truth.

Fortunately for me, a descendent of SMARTi, we have been following the truth and righteous teaching of multiple husbands, and populating the celestial planets for many generations. Just about all sides of the major planets have been given to SMARTi's followers, and applications are in for most of the decent sized obscure planets.

There are many asteroids out there - so there is still room for those willing to change their ways.

Just a Girl - with an application of her own planet - I'll let you know

Anonymous said...

Pilot...I'm unfamiliar with West Texas mineral rights and how far they go. If you own mineral rights on someone else's property, does that give you legal entry? Can you also set up wells, run pipelines, etc.?

Anonymous said...

In Texas, the mineral rights are separate from the surface rights. Mineral owners have the same rights to access their property as surface owners do. This has led to confrontation, but it has also developed a pretty extensive set of case law. Mineral owners may lease out their rights to oil companies, who may then move in a rig and drill.

Surface damages must be paid to the surface owner, but the amount is pretty well established by the courts. Surface owners who try to stop exploration almost always lose in courts.

As for pipelines, they are considered untilities. If a surface owner tries to stop a transmission pipeline, the land is condemned and damages are paid. Otherwise oil is hauled out in trucks...lots of trucks...in and out...day and night...up and down the blessed roads of Zion.

I like this picture better and better every day.

Texas...it's like a whole other country. Thank God!

Anonymous said...

Yes, not having mineral rights to your land will rock your world. Years ago my grandfather had a beautiful ranch in Texas and did not own the mineral rights. Now the place is littered with oil rigs and the mess they bring. Hardly the scenic spot it used to be!

Anonymous said...

Thanks 9:50.
This is very interesting. So not only can an oil company start pumping old wells but they can also start exploring for oil on any part of the property? Holy Sh_t! Can they make Holy Ground even Holier?

Seems like a real prophet, one with a direct line to God, would have had some advance notice of things like this and picked another place to Zionize.

Hmmm.....Maybe the Profit is just a regular guy with an uninformed real estate agent/lawyer. But this may give him the chance to profit even more. A lot of his followers are involved in the trucking business, either as owners or drivers.

What price level does oil have to maintain to make it profitable to open the old wells? And explore new sites?

Anonymous said...

As to what the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS) believes about the afterlife, I don't know, but perhaps one should check out their website-from the website:
"If you do not know a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we invite you to visit with representatives of the Church to learn more about the information you have viewed on this site. Please call 1-800-645-4949 (in US and Canada only)"
You may need to cut and paste the link http://www.mormon.org

Sorry don't know how to post a clickable link on this site.

On the subject of mineral rights, our family has 50% on our property, so we get a nice chunk of change if they find oil & gas here in my part of Texas.

Anonymous said...

Why would anyone want to talk to a religion that openly persecutes people that lived the laws of their own religion? What is it about section 132 “New and EVERLASTING Covenant” is it that you don’t understand?

God says here is my commandment. Oh you want statehood? Well I was only kidding.

Is Gordon B. Hinkley not the mouth of God to you today?

How on earth can you shrug off what earlier prophets like Brigham Young and John Taylor have said and disavow their teachings? But its not scripture? You seriously believe that?

Why would anyone want to learn more from hippocrits of their own cultish religion?

Is this where the term Smorgus Board Mormon comes from? You get to wander around picking and choosing what parts of the religion is right for you?

If you change the rules its not the same religion!!!

Sorry if this is offensive but it is the same crap I had to deal with growing up FLDS.

Even being the ego-maniac he is, Warren isn’t so different than mainstream Mormonism. The difference is he has enforced the teachings. Maybe you should really understand your religion before talking that crap.

Oh, my religion is right but every one else’s is wrong? You have got to be kidding!

God claimed to be a god of Unconditional Love. Is it not amazing that everyone talking religion that almost every word out of their mouth places conditions on God’s love?

Why do we need a reason to be decent to each other? Why cant we do it because we want too? Why cant we keep it simple and follow the example Christ set and quit talking crap about books that have been written and re-written countless times thru history by people like Warren Jeffs who want everything written like he wants it?

God’s Unconditional Love is simple. Let’s leave it that way.

Anonymous said...

...erra 11:48 aren't you forgetting something?..you know the $50 before you left the room. Can't expect anyone to do God's word for nothing, can you?

keep sweet eldorado
stg

The Lord's New Prophet Erastus J. Smith, Jr. said...

And the angel Boloney appeared before me with two golden cow pies whereupon was written in ancient Sanskrit the word of the Lord. I translated the cow pies and put down the words therein in the book of Bolon.

Later, after my wife caught me in bed with another woman, the Lord spake to me saying, "Verily I say it is true, man was never intended for one woman, but a multitude. Tell my daughter that she should not be angry with my servant but should encourage him and love him even as he takes other wives."

It is all true, I know because it is written in the Book of Bolon, another testament of Jesus Christ.

If any man should challenge this revelation, refer him not to the Bible, but refer him instead to the book of Bolon, which I shall amend from time to time as the Angel Boloney may determine and as the cow chips may falleth.

And it came to pass. Thus sayeth the Lord, etc, etc, etc.

Anonymous said...

That Stinketh!

Anonymous said...

I heard the dairy is shutting down in Colorado City and probably the store here. Does anybody know anything about that?

Anonymous said...

That would be a big bunch of cows out of work.

And how would anybody get their "squeaky cheese"?

Anonymous said...

Warren will take the cows to Texas. There he will read the golden cowpies and come up with another revelation.

Anonymous said...

stg, I dont know anything about how Other religions pass the plate for money.

That brings up another point. If the lord will provide how come it takes so darn much money to belong to ANY religion?

hmmm and they say that money is the root of all evil. Makes you think doesnt it?

Anonymous said...

you are full of crap

Anonymous said...

The Eldorado Success has a front page stroy that says the FLDS has been named as a hate group by a civil rights group Alabama.

Does this mean that Warren can be Grand Wizard and Prophet at the same time?

Anonymous said...

Where did you see the story. It's not on the web site?

Anonymous said...

Holy Sh*** now the SPLC is after Warren! Surely this will bring the feds in. Hurrah!

Anonymous said...

WJ better bring his dairy cows to Texas. He's gonna need 'em for sustinance 'cause the Black Panthers are gonna barricade the gate to the ranch

Anonymous said...

I can't find the story. What's it all about?

TJ said...

I went to the subscribe page and downloaded tomorrow's edition. The Southern Poverty Law Center has added the FLDS to its list of hate groups. This is the list that has the KKK and the Arian nation.

Rod Parker's even quoted saying that Warren only preaches against blacks because its in the Bible, but that he is not prejudiced. Can you belive that?

Anonymous said...

So nobody else thinks it's strange that all the stores are closing in Colorado City??? Where's this all going?

Anonymous said...

Warren will probably not be satisfied until he has ruined every business and sucked them finacially dry. I heard that Warren has even found ways to obtain money from the local powerplant in Colorado City. It is probably a matter of time before every last business in the twin cities are bankrupt thanks to Warren

fence sitter said...

is it just me, or is there a funny undertone going on in town. I moved here a while ago from the "evil world". So I don't know how it felt before, but it sure feels funny now.

oxymormon said...

Texan friends and fellow ploggers:

Mineral rights in the Lone Star sound all too captious, but what amazes me even more is to think that there could be something under the west texan sheetrock worth extracting...

it would be a shame if the dairy derricks sucking all that calcium from those venerated animals in Eldorado were shut down. Time to drink goat milk and dig for dinosaur bones...

Now, i got something to say about inheriting the earth. Growing up mormon, I always had high hopes of getting my own planet, and I always wanted Venus, and her vexing storms, magnetic messes mashing up the place with unbelievable power... i would have made it better than earth and built a big ole amusement park better than old Walt's place.

Seriously, this topic gives insight into why there are already 11 million Mo-Mos on the planet.

HERES A RIDDLE FOR THE GOAT RANCHERS:

Greeks and Romans feared it.

Jesus and friends claimed it loved mankind.

Protestants reorganized relationship with it.

Mormons become it...

_______________________________
Lets do the evolution, friends.

Anonymous said...

Which came first. The Warren or the egg?

Stinger said...

What do you get if you play one of warren's tapes backwards?
You get your house back, your money back, and your family back.

Anonymous said...

Stinger,that was pretty good.


Just me.

Anonymous said...

Warren's money tree?:

It's amazing to me why Warren would be shutting down the business entities that have been supporting his voracious need for cash. Perhaps he's losing control and therefore has nothing to lose in shutting them down as his last vindictive act.

I believe he's been sucking money out of the public school system for years. There are UEP leases for buildings that have created income for him and undisclosed employees on the payroll. The school board has encumbents that have been there for forty years and we can't get rid of them because of FLDS votes. Now the District is bankrupt and owes millions. Superintendant Alvin Barlow's continuing mantra, "We must raise taxes" is as regular as the sunrise. If the attorney generals really want to prosecute Warren Jeffs, all they have to do is follow the money.

Anonymous said...

Warren has it all figured out. How many guys do you know of that can have millions upon millions of dollars flow through their hands and never even have a real job in your whole life. Thats right Warren has never even filed a tax return. At seventeen he became the principal of Alta Academy and was that until he moved in on his fathers position, until he eventually took over.

Anonymous said...

Yes and he won't have to worry about social security either because the state will probably support him for the rest of his life in the Big House.

Confused Cowboy said...

Hey, Stinger...I've been playing Warren's audio clips backward all morning hoping he will move back to Utah.

Anonymous said...

Hildale/Colorado City Dairy closing down. Well, I'm really sorry for he loss of jobs but I tell you one thing. Old Warren better cinch up his belt and get ready for a big neighborhood fight. The last time someone intended to open a commercial dairy in Schleicher County the learned along the headwaters of the South Concho River came out in force and thus a Dairy Herd permit was never obtained. Dairy's do have some cattle you know. Cows regularly make a mess in and around their pen and this mess turns into a quagmire that stinketh to hell and back. In addition to the possible polition of the waterway, 100,000 plus citizens of our sister county to the north will not enjoy the excitement of the olfactory glands likely to be triggered by too many cows, too natural an occurrance, too hot weather and the natural occurance of algae in ponds of water etc..Beware! ! ! ! TCEQ Gestapo will love it.....fines....fines.....fines oh boy!

Anonymous said...

Let's see - No sewer, a dairy, oil field slush pits will be everywhere..Yep it sounds like Zion to me.

lucky apostate said...

stinger, that was very funny, but I wish it were true

Anonymous said...

Can't somebody please wake up uncle Tru, and Uncle Dan? It is time for them to get their balls out of Warrens' briefcase, strap them back on so they can do something to save this town. Do it for Uncle Roy.

Anonymous said...

I completely agree. If Uncle Dan and Tru made a stand maybe they could regain some of the lost respect by their families and friends.

Anonymous said...

To 8:09 and 8:42 AM:

They voluntarily chose to be geldings. They gave up without a fight and Warren gained more power because the Barlow geldings did nothing.

It's time for the young men who still have some testosterone to stand up against Warren and stop the insanity. I'm sure their women will respect true manhood and leadership that does not run away and hide in cowering repentance. The only thing Dan and Truman (and others) have to repent of, at least as far as Warren's concerned, is their geldinghood.

Why not organize the beneficiary's into a civil law suit to partition trust assets, in as much as the former trustees have abandoned their trust duties? A law suit that would entitle every beneficiary who had constructed a home on trust property to litigate their claim to equitable title and convert that claim to legal title.

The primary remedy of that action would be a deed from the reorganized trust to each valid claimant conveying title to their homes and businesses.

The remaining common property could be deeded to the municipalities for Schools, Parks, Open Space, etc., and sold to developers for commercial growth and revenue to the cities. This would lower taxes and provide equitable relief to the actual homebuilder (not one of Warren's imports) who have invested their money, sweat and tears to build the trust corpus.

There is a way out of this mess that will give residents their freedom, eliminate extortion and stop this holy adultry that Warren Jeffs has invented as a tool of control and oppression.

If there are any true (not to be confused with Tru) men left, let them step forward now and be heard. Otherwise you can all go join the geldings and let your women look for real men to stand up for their children's rights.

Anonymous said...

I hope you can abandon the thought that men are horses. I think you are weird. I think you been out in the pasture too long. Dan and Truman are not horses. Some people think they are bulls too, and people can be traded like cattle. Look in the mirror, bud. Men may or may not act like beasts, but God made them with intelligence. Use it. We LOVE WARREN JEFFS. He protects us from filthy men who would sell us like cattle.

Anonymous said...

That didn't sound very convinving.

Anonymous said...

10:57 sounds like Ruth with a spell-check...

Anonymous said...

To 10:57 AM:

Maybe the analogy was rather crude and overplayed to make a point. But in regard to "intelligence" I think the comparison has some merit.

How can intelligent men love the man who has taken their homes, family's and self-respect? Is there anything more valued than that? Do you really think yielding those values is true intelligence?

"WE LOVE WARREN JEFFS. He protects us from filthy men who would sell us like cattle." These filthy men that would sell you like cattle, are they the men who were kicked out? Or, are they the ones who still love Warren Jeffs after he has destroyed their lives?

In any event, the ones who have passively yielded to Warren's "adjustments" have had to pay the highest price for their so-called intelligence.

For them to call this a test like Biblical Job’s is infantile ignorance. Job’s test was ordained of God. Only if Dan, Truman, Joe, Nephi etc., consider Warren as God, would this hypothesis have any merit. And remember, Job had everything restored to him. What do you think Warren is going to restore to these Barlow conspirators, who have demonstrated their manhood by abandoning their families and homeland?

Anonymous said...

Little picture gentlemen. You're debating about crumbs on the floor.

Big picture. What do you think is going to happen when you create a closed society in which the most noble virtue is coveting the innocence of little girls?

keep sweet eldorado
stg

Anonymous said...

How can you call the FLDS a hate group when there is so much hate all through this blog site toward one man. Is it any wonder who this man is? He has affected you and yet you know nothing about him but rumors and lies. And when I say lies I mean lies from hate groups. Is this blog fueling hate groups? If it is, it should be shut down. I can testify that all races are equal and that they should not mix their blood through marriage. This is what the Bible teaches. Joseph Smith taught that the Black Race should have their own government seperate from the White Race and live in a different part of the world in Equal harmony with the White Race. They can qualify for the same blessings we can qualify for.

Anonymous said...

The filthy men who would sell us like cattle are all the p*mps that post on this site. They wanted to sell Ruth and Thelma.

Anonymous said...

To Native Texan,

Don't believe all the rumors you hear. Your post plainly tells me you have been listening to lies. If you want the truth, go to the source. If you are truely seeking the truth do what the Lord says,"Ask and ye shall receive, knock and it will be opened unto you." Prayer is the key and a sincere heart. Are you really sincere? Or are you worried that if the truth is known, you would be scorned by those who once trusted you.

Anonymous said...

To Anon 2:41 I quote:

"Joseph Smith taught that the Black Race should have their own government seperate from the White Race and live in a different part of the world in Equal harmony with the White Race. They can qualify for the same blessings we can qualify for."

What Crap!!

"Seperate but Equal" died 50 years ago

Ever here of :
U.S. Supreme Court
BROWN v. BOARD OF EDUCATION, 347 U.S. 483 (1954)

If you had a blood tranfusion you wouldn't have a clue what color the person was who donated it.

GOD wouldn't know the difference either!!

Anonymous said...

"KEEP SWEET" ELDORADO

AMEN, AMEN, AMEN
BUT....YOU ALSO FORGOT "LITTLE BOYS"
THERE ARE ALOT OF LITTLE BOYS....WHAT WILL PERVERT WARREN TEACH THEM?

Anonymous said...

To 10:41 am,I agree with what you said.Now is the Time.

Anonymous said...

To 3:06

What do you mean by crap? are you saying this was not taught by Joseph Smith. Are you saying that I don't believe that we can all qualify for the same blessings no matter the race. What does some Supreme Court decision have to do with that. The Supreme Court never told me I had to marry into another race. If they did I would not get married and know that the Constitution was null and void. As for blood transfusions: When blood is given it is documented whose blood it is including race, sex, and date given. When a person gets a blood transfusion, they state their race, religion, and choices of what blood they will accept. They then sign agreeing to the transfusion. This is a contract and if what they stated in what they would accept is violated then they can sue for malpractice. If you would have had a blood transfusion then you would know this unless you were not able to decide and then someone close to you would have signed for you. Get your FACTS before you post CRAP.

Anonymous said...

You just made my case. Thanks! Oh and
"Zieg Heil" !!

Anonymous said...

I was just thinking that 3:56 sounded like a Nazi when I read your post! LMAO !!

My mom is white, my dad is Hispanic.
Which seperate spot on this planet or heaven am I supposed to be on?

"Heil 3:56"

Anonymous said...

Children! Be reverent!

Anonymous said...

What!!!!!!!!!!! I'm nazi because I consider all races EQUAL and that they qualify for the same blessings I do. I will hold the door for any person as a show of kindness and give EQUAL respect for any person no matter the race!!!!!! As for heaven, I can not say. I haven't been there. Because I do not believe in interracial marriage, I am considered nazi or racist? Do you not believe the BIBLE? And please enlighten me as to how I made your case. As for racist, Ham married a black woman because God told him to. I will marry whom Heavenly Father tells me to. This is my belief. I know that this nation is beyond segregation. With interracial relationships(those who have a African American ancestor), I'm sure the Black Race would be considered the majority.

Anonymous said...

Not to get off the subject but I would like to know that the compound is planting in the field that requires so many women and children? They are not hauling rocks.
Does anyone at C/H know; just curious? I took Midland news crew over yesterday. There is not more brickwork completed on Temple outside. Saw huge stones still being quarried and cut to size. There pickups parked on east side so temple inside must be getting all the attention.

ThePilot

Anonymous said...

keep feeding us more mr Pilot, we love it!!!

Anonymous said...

Another observer to the person of 5:08 pm and all who believe that we are different because of skin color:

How do you consider all people equal if: "the Black Race should have their own government separate from the White Race and live in a different part of the world in Equal harmony". Where is the equality?

Do you really think you are going to an all white heaven? Jesus was a Hebrew. NOT WHITE!! He was more Hispanic, American Indian or Arabic in feature than your Arian Orthodoxy.
You would have excluded Christ from your sect because of his skin color.

You have seen (as do many who call themselves Christian) too many Renaissance pictures of Christ as an art work done by white painters commissioned by white Kings and Popes.

Not historically or genetically accurate!

Anonymous said...

To answer Pilot,according to my mothers ex-sisterwife,its potatoes corn,and other garden type produce.nothing unusual.Does anyone else think its ridiculous for a man wealthy as "W"is for his kids and womenfolks have to be growing their food?I wouldnt be suprised if they arent on the dole.and turning the money over to "W"so he can continue his lifes-work.Which is destoying the Flds people."How much more can we endure?"

Anonymous said...

To 7:23
Thank You. I knew the women and children wore “sprigging" something, I just did not know what.

PS. Tell them they look very "pretty" in their blue or green dresses; also another question. Why are women forbidden to wear red and a small child ( two-ish ) can wear pink?

Just an observer from the sky,
ThePilot

Anonymous said...

"Because I do not believe in interracial marriage, I am considered nazi or racist?"


yeap.


keep sweet eldorado,
stg

Anonymous said...

Nope - just someone who believes there is a separate heaven and should be a separate place on earth because of the color of their skin is what I would qualify as a Racist Nazi. If the shoe fits...

If it does not then no need to be offended - if it does - I REALLY hope I offend YOU!

Anonymous said...

I don't know about the place in heaven, but I think there is a special place in Hell for all the racists.

Anonymous said...

I can agree with that!

Anonymous said...

I think it's good that the kids and girls get out in the fresh air and do something constructive. I mean, what else is there for them to do? It's not like they're allowed to go out to the mall or anything else.

let's face it, life sucks in prison.
especially if you're a kid

keep sweet eldorado,
stg

Anonymous said...

To the pilot.

Warren has told us that any woman that wears red is a whore and that someone that drives a red vehicle is an adulteruos person.
Course he also said that anyone that drives a convertible with the top down is also an adulterous person.

The mother that let her 2 year old little girl wear pink is probably expressing rebellion the only way she dares.
Warren's made it real clear that the woman are now to wear soft blues and browns etc. in their dressing.Any prints or loud colors are strictly taboo now. Violating this commandment is without doubt grounds to not be chosen for or grounds to be kicked out of Zion.

Anonymous said...

To 4/22/05 2:45 pm.

Those Texas and arizona guys talking about trading Thelma for Ruth were only kidding around.They certainly aren't p*mps.Get over it.

Anonymous said...

Hey we are serious -- We really would trade Thelma for Ruth!! Look at the bright side - Thelma can spell
("Devil is here"!!).

Anonymous said...

Warrens work is one eternal round on earth.

First he has you ordained to the Aronic priesthood and to the office of a deacon in the FLDS church.

Second he has you promoted to the office of teacher in the church.

Third he has you promoted to the office of priest within the church.

Fourth he has you promoted to the Melchizadek priesthood and to the office of Elder within the church.
Fifth, if you've paid his price,Warren personally bestows the studhood upon you in a secret ceremony at a mesquite motel with no witnesses except a sacrificial young girl and her father making the offering.Warren then calls you to the office of fatherhood within the church.


Sixth, he has you demoted to the geldinghood and to the office of familyless without the FLDS church along with the requirement that you repent from afar and turn all your money in to him .This in order to purchase another chance at being ordained to the studhood again.

Those to broke to pay his price here on earth but who paid as much as they could, get a discounted ticket to heaven, there to become single Angels and servants for eternity to those who paid Warren so much he granted the supernaturalstudhood upon them and called them to the office of Godhood.

Living and loving in Texas.

Stinger said...

Anybody want to buy a used onthestreet? Low mileage, lower intellect, not sure whether male or female, could be a hermaphrodite. Will trade for anything more amusing. Maybe for texascowgirl?

Anonymous said...

Did on the street get kicked off the street at the polygamy aimoo board?

Anonymous said...

10:46 pm ,Ruth can spell to.


UNCLE WARREN SAVED ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

texas cowgirl for onthestreet? ...what kinda deal is that?

just buy him a bus ticket to Texas. the folks in eldorado will gladly throw him over the fence at YFZ.
everyone will be happy.

but help me out here, Stinger. why wouldn't warren want this guy? he certainly fits the bill.

keep sweet eldorado,
stg

Anonymous said...

Ruth can't even spell too, two, or 2 ?

ATAR said...

ABOUT BLOOD.

If you were in the hospital and needed a transfusion the doctor would write something like this

"T & C and infuse 2 units PRBC's over 2 hours each"

This means Type and Cross and infuse 2 units Packed Red blood cells

OK - the lab would come up and draw your blood and get your type and rh factor plus an antibody screen.

They would order blood that would come from a blood bank. It's only identifying marks would be unit numbers and distribution numbers, and type, factors (rh that is etc.

Since I've transfused hundreds of units of blood, I'm going to claim a monumentally higher level of knowledge than Mr. Short Crick on this one.

The nurse would bring it to your bed and infuse it.

In my almost 20 years of nursing in major metropolitan hospitals I have NEVER EVER SEEN, HEARD OF any recipient seeing patient factors - So, your wrong - you wouldn't know.

About Skin Color

The 'seed of cain' seems to be the basis for some of the racist remarks. Cain - sinned, well and so...all of his generations are tainted right? I don't actually believe that, but indulge this line of thinking

So, let's just take a Barlow or a Jessop that has been excommunicated - they must have sinned right? So their seed is tainted? but isn't Jeffs married to some of the excommunicated peoples seeds? And wouldn't his own children be of 'that seed'.

Hey, if Cain is a bad seed remember he was 'white' when he was bad....even according to their own freaky stories he turned black AFTER he killed Abel, then perhaps half of Jeffs compound....

Anonymous said...

saved you from what Ruth?

You are the scapegoat that is taken to the edge of the wildnerness and set free as a symbol of mercy. The sacrificial animal, a sheep, must be untainted and without blemish.

quiet canadian said...

Oh come on you guys and gals. when someone needs to have a blood transfusion, who wants to spend any effort worrying about the color of skin the donor had. Just be grateful for the donor.

Anonymous said...

to the administrator

THANK YOU FOR PUTTING IN THE DATE BESIDES THE TIME OF DAY ON THE POSTS!

Anonymous said...

Seeing Red?

Not likely if you are Warrenite. Ther used to plenty of red dresses around, I had one when I was 16 I wore to school all the time. Come to think of it, Dan Barlow's youngest wife at the time had one too.
The no red order came at a dance and the reason given was that when Christ came back to earth he would be in red garments, symbolizing the vinyard grapes that he had troden alone. To wear red so flagrently was to disrespect our Lord and Savior.
The word was given by Rulon Jeffs, when he did have all of his own mind.

Avid reader said...

I second what 4/23/2005 4:30 AM said....

Thank you so much for including post dates along with the times. Makes everything SO much easier to follow.

Anonymous said...

when I go to the "local" grocery store I make sure to wear what ever color red I have. I trot around in my blood red sweater, my shoes, and if I so choose, my red socks and underwear
OH, i'm soooo going to hell now!!

Anonymous said...

Protestant, Evangelical, & "Born-Again Christians have created doctrine and Bible interpretations that remove all personal accountability.

Anonymous said...

that and the left wing liberals. which leaves only us few remaining secular republicans with all the blame

OMG...aaaah! I just realized....I'm satan

keep sweet eldorado,
std

Anonymous said...

To 5:08 AM:

Here is a little history lesson for you that might be of interest.

Rulon's mind was first affected as the result of an automobile accident in the mid 70's. He was unconscious for nearly 24 hours and those who knew him well could see a before and after difference. By the mid to late 80's, Rulon began to make far out prophecies similar to Warren's today. He prophesied that soon a big earthquake would hit the Salt Lake Valley and the two lakes (Utah Lake and Great Salt Lake) would come together. Also, he said Brother Johnson was the "marred prophet" spoken of in third Nephi (B of M) and he prophesied in the name of the Lord that he (Brother Johnson) was not going to die. Years later, he expanded on this theme and predicted that he himself, along with uncle Fred, would live 300+ years. They are all three dead. What does this say about Rulon Jeff's prophetic ability and recognition by God?

By the time Brother Johnson became somewhat non-compus-mentis from the onset of senility and serious pain medication, Rulon was ready for the one-man delusion.

The Barlow's and Uncle Fred had promoted their one-man-doctrine to Brother Johnson to gain influence and power between him and the Priesthood Council. When Brother Johnson was sufficiently vulnerable, the public move to eliminate the Apostles was undertaken and Rulon was ready to jump on the Barlow bandwagon. They could not have succeeded in their power play without Rulon's rubber stamp.

The Barlow's successfully pulled off their coup and took over the UEP Trust. Now they had the leverage they needed to quash any resistance.

The Barlow's hadn't counted on Warren Jeff's cunning plan to utilize their efforts to promote himself as the one-man-prophet of infallibility. The Barlow's had effectively taught that the one-man-prophet could never lead the people astray regardless of senility, strokes, head injuries, medication or other mortal malady's due to the infirmities of old age. Because of this doctrine, they had to eliminate Wilford Woodruff (who signed the Manifesto), Leslie Broadbent, Joseph Musser (who started to Allred movement after several strokes) Charles Zitting and others.

By the time Brother Johnson died, the doctrine of the next worthy senior in the Priesthood Council becoming the President of Priesthood by natural succession, was no more. Thus Rulon could bypass President Hammon and claim the presidency without congregational objection. There were a few however that would not abandon the Lorin Woolley statement and its' blueprint for succession, so the subsequent division took place.

Warren was now ready to manipulate his medically impaired father and take over. Uncle Fred was too old, too tired and too honest to oppose him in the heist of the century. Warren sedated this kind old man and removed him from the scene while evicting the humiliated Barlows who had given him total control. The Barlow one-man-doctrine had to be supported by them for them to save face. They hadn't counted on losing their families in the process.

The big question still looms over Warren. By what authority does he function? How did his dead and departed father come back from the grave and ordain this puny elder to the President of Priesthood? And even if he had done so before his death, there would have been in fact, two "one man on the earth at a time" holding all the authority? Obviously there was a reason for the Lorin Woolley statement and its safeguards.

Now, twenty seven years later, we have the advantage of hind sight. The doctrinal changes in Warren's group are glaringly obvious and the repeated failure of his prophecies are reason enough to stone him under the laws of ancient Israel. Back then, false prophets didn't last very long. However, the Barlow doctrine of infallibility of the one-man prophet, was established so effectively that even now the sheeple refuse to see the evidences of their delusion. How could their infallible prophet possibly lead them astray?

So today it's still easy to sell the simple nonsense of not wearing red etc. I would think that any person with a taste for white wine could envision the Savior treading white grapes, so therefore wearing white is forbidden? Come on sheeple, don't you realize a sheep has a brain about the same size as a rats? You must enlarge you're brains to be able to overcome the delusion of this self appointed profit.

Anonymous said...

To 4/23/2005 1:48 PM

That was a very fine sermon Bro Anon, there's only one thing wrong with it; it isn't true.

Uncle Roy's mind was very keen, active, and alert right up to the very end. This senility idea was a Centenial argument of convenience to justfy their seperation after he had Hammon and Timpson step down from the stand.

Centential group also use the Barlow conspiracy theory to the max, in order to pretend that they still supported Pres Johnson in his "vulnerable" condition.

Stinger said...

stg, I think onthestreet might be too whacked out for even ol' war's tastes.

Anonymous said...

4:42: You are wrong. I grew up at "The Krik" during Uncle Roy's era and was in high school when he was sick. I left because several elders (town fathers) who followed UR turned into complete assholes while he was sick. That combined with Bro's T&H yelling at us over the pulpit each weekend made me realize there must be a better way to live.

The last two years of high school, my Dad and visited with UR a couple of times a year and he was anything but alert. UR was awake enough to shake your hand upon entry, but the rest of the visit was spent mostly in uncomfortable silence while he went in and out of medicated sleep/fog. UTru was always there to make sure we didn't bother UR too much, and my Dad was a little flustered because he had to keep telling UR our names.

The last visit was at the end of my senior year and I recall almost the exact words he said to me. While his eyes were open long enough to deliver the short paragraph that was intended to direct my way in life, I also remember feeling very uneasy because I didn't think he knew who I was.

I left shortly after high school and I understand that a few years later UR was feeling well enough to give Bro's T&H the boot, but keen, active, and alert to the very end? Not a chance.

BTW- I love this blog. I don't live close to CC and haven't been there in several years. I don't talk too much to people there and this blog makes me feel a little closer to "my people". It also has made me feel a little homesick and a little sad. Homesick because no matter where you put down roots in life, your mind always takes you back to the safety and security of the place and people you knew as a child. Sad because the place was getting out of hand when I left and its only gone downhill since.

I do like to read the postings from people in CC, whether you're part of Warren's group, Second Ward, or other. I don't even mind the spelling....I take that back. I wish all the kids at CC were back in decent schools!

Long time gone

Anonymous said...

Dear Long Time Gone:

I read your post with not a small amount of poignancy. I have only recently left the Creek and I have been suffering the sadness and homesickness also. However, I was holding on to the wee flame of hope that the feelings were temporary and fleeting. Obviously not.

I think that everyone, no matter where he/she is from, cherishes the simplicity of childhood and the memories held dear. However, as in the words of a wise song, "Can it be that it was all so simple then, or has time rewritten every line?"

You can never go back. What's more, THESE are the good old days. Sad, huh?

And I agree. Those poor kids deserve a better education. Well, nice talking to you.

Anonymous said...

11:15
Don't confuse feelings of melancholy with "sufferring". Reading the postings is like going to your 20th high school reunion. Its nice to touch base with all the people but the only reason you'd want to return is so the cheeerleaders will get their looks and the jocks will get their hair back.

Although I do miss the time and place surrounded by red sandstone cliffs that I grew up in, I don't miss the place that strips away basic freedoms like thinking, feeling, and communicating. I don't miss that place at all. When I used to go back and visit I could only stay about a day before the urge to flee became so overwhelming I had to get out. It felt like the huge, porous red sandstone cliffs also sucked all the oxygen out of the town and I couldn't catch my breath until I got to St. George.

If you are young, as I was when I left, the world is your oyster. A helluva good life is waiting for you to step into. Maybe you already have. If you are older and have left wife/kids behind, the world is still your oyster and a helluva good life is still waiting. Time does heal but it can be painful waiting for it to pass.

LTG

Anonymous said...

Hey Boloney guy...its BOLOGNA...and when you meet your maker no doubt he will remember your blasphemous remarks!!

Baloney Guy said...

Don't worry 11:44, my blasphemy was aimed only at the blasphemous. God will understand.

And it came to pass. Amen

Anonymous said...

Just spell bologna right man!! Dont offend Oscar Myer too!

Baloney Guy said...

If old Joe can misspell MORON and found an entire religion, I doubt if Oscar (it's spelled M-A-Y-E-R by the way) will care how I pronounce baloney.

Thus sayeth the Lord of Hosts.
Amen

Anonymous said...

And we were glad that it came to pass... and not to stay.

Anonymous said...

If the old Joe you are speaking happens to be the Prophet Joseph Smith..then you have alot more on your plate to worry about! Bologna man..

Anonymous said...

P.S. I can take my spelling corrections with flare and dignity..why can't you?

Baloney Guy said...

You're the one who started calling me Baloney Guy, he replied with heartfelt flair and dignity welling up from deep within his inner being.

And it came to pass.
Amen

Anonymous said...

And Why you debate the negroes having there own country, as bad, Look at it like this: The negroes had there country stolen from them, by americans when they kidnapped them and made them slaves. What is wrong with them being equal to us, and having Africa back. After all, this is what God gave them, by right of birth: Or do you supose it is not discrimination for whites to have there own country? Just discrimination if Negro's do?

Anonymous said...

Zeig Heil Nazis

Anonymous said...

back to africa...no way

...no gangsta' rap in africa

besides who the hell would want to see 10 flat footed white guys, flopping around, banging heads, trying to get the damn ball through the hoop.

Dallas 37, San Antonio 18....that would really suck

keep sweet eldorado
stg

Anonymous said...

Oh baloney guy go gird up your own loins! you looser! And try cometh to passing something of intelligence.

onthestreet said...

Anony mouse said:
You can never go back. What's more, THESE are the good old days. Sad, huh?

And I agree. Those poor kids deserve a better education. Well, nice talking to you.

4/23/2005 11:15 PM

Street's Reply: I've also been out for years, but you can ALWAYS (not never) go back. I go back every Sabbath. As for your education, you've missed the mystery. You get the highest education with the Prophet, far beyond those doctorates, but it's all hidden in the mystery of godliness. If one is not godly, then of course, it is lost to you.

onthestreet said...

Anonymous said...
If the old Joe you are speaking happens to be the Prophet Joseph Smith..then you have alot more on your plate to worry about! Bologna man..

4/25/2005 2:11 PM

Street's Reply: Correct, ALOT more on your plate, the ultimate banquet.

Baloney Guy said...

Verily, I say unto anonymous 11:38, get thee behind me stupid. Learneth thou to spelleth and speaketh, even rightly so and repent forthwith of thy ignorance. Thus sayeth the Lord thy God through his new Prophet Baloney Guy. Amen, and Amen.

Anonymous said...

Going back to the original post.....

I find it strange that you measure wives by the "ton".

In you neck of the woods, how many do you get to the ton? Five? Six?

Anonymous said...

You call me nazi but what does "zieg heil" mean? I don't know because I don't study nazi. As far as the African race, I think the White race should give them back their homeland and let them be recognized. I do understand something about World War II. Hitler had a problem with any society that didn't agree with his ideas. I claim the privilege of worshiping almighty God according to the dictates of my own conscience, and allow all men (and women) the same privilege, let them worship How, Where, or What they may.

PS please answer my question. "What does "Zieg Heil" mean?

Anonymous said...

Who is nazi here? Most comments made on this blog are against my religion!!!! Hitler would be proud of you!!

Anonymous said...

Street, you're making me tired! We've already read all the posts on this thread. You don't need to quote them at length and then reply in the third person. You're not a newspaper and if we wanted to read one, we'd be somewhere else. Just refer to something and quit re-posting it!

weblog administrator said...

To onthestreet:
I know you have been banned from other boards and blogs. Stop clogging this blog up if you want to continue participating. Everyone here knows what has been posted. You don't need to repost. I'm asking you nicely to comply. Otherwise your posts will start disappearing. Understand?

Weblog Administrator

onthestreet said...

Anonymous said...
Street, you're making me tired! We've already read all the posts on this thread. You don't need to quote them at length and then reply in the third person. You're not a newspaper and if we wanted to read one, we'd be somewhere else. Just refer to something and quit re-posting it!

4/26/2005 9:21 PM

Street's Reply: Yes, you make me very tired. As for how I communicate, if I communicated the way you wanted me to, then it wouldn't be my communication anymore, would it. It would be yours, censored through a third person, and that of course would be intollerable by your own definition. I need to quote and reply as I see fit, until of course our nation reverts to Nazism. It takes all of about three seconds to see that something is a repost, and I do that selectively to relate it to my reply, unless I am replying to a post immediately preceeding mine. Then there is no need to repost.

It's an insult to even suggest that you should tell others how to communicate, where there is a freedom of speech. You violate your own constitution and the constitution or free agency of man.

onthestreet said...

Weblog Admin said. . .

Street's Reply: Is that better?
Sure, I'll try to be briefer, and briefer, and briefer.

weblog administrator said...

Ahem...
That's better. Thanks for understanding.

Anonymous said...

Mugwump asks?

Suppose that the LDS & FLDS are correct in their belief that upon death that they will head up their own planet. If so, who is going to populate that planet? If the logic regarding each saint being able to gain celestial heaven by meeting all criteria for priesthood, as applied by the various prophets over time, then all priests become their own god and have their own domain to reign.

Are these prophets of old now gods? If so, what if each of their sons were able to duplicate their father's example in the priesthood, die and become their own god? If this is true then the only population each god would govern would be those who could not achieve the ultimate priesthood and become their own god.

If the good sons became gods, had their own planet they would be surrounded by only their wives, who were found worthy and a bunch of offspring that were either too bright to swallow this B.S. or too arrogant to achieve the priesthood and thus were sentenced to a lower heaven.

The ultimate achievement of a priest would be to prove his perfection by having been such a worthy example to his offspring that they too all became priests or were gathered into their own little planet to fulfill the promises made over the past 175 years by prophets great and small.

Since Jesus himself told his apostles that there were no marriages in heaven except the marriage of the "Lamb" and His Church that pretty much leaves out the possibility of all priests becoming gods in their own right.

Pretty perplexing problem don't you think.

Mugwump

Anonymous said...

Amen and amen, Mugwump!

Keep on untangling this mess - it would be funny if there weren't so many people actually buying into it!

onthestreet said...

Yes, untangle yur mess, but please! Use the lavoratory. No need using YFZ fur yur lav when yu laf at yur own cowupshun. Gid it.

Anonymous said...

Who claimed that there were marriages happening in Heaven?

We do that here!

Anonymous said...

Street said....

blah blah blah yak yak yak giggle giggle (snort) blah blah blah me me me yak yak yak blah blah blah me me me.

onthestreet said...

Street's Reply: Ah, yes, marriage in heaven. What is more wonderful than the Word and the Way of your Lord?

"And Jesus answered and spoke to them again by parables, and said:
The Kingdom OF HEAVEN is like a certain King who arranged a marriage for his son." (Mt.22:1-2)

Ah yes, marriage in heaven.
"See, I have prepare my dinner. Come to the Wedding. But they made light of it and went their way. (Mt.22:4-5)

"The same day, the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him and asked him . . . in the resurrection, whose wife will she be? And Jesus answered and said to them: You are mistaken, NOT KNOWING. . . (not believing in resurrection). Therefore, FOR YOU: "In the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels of God in heaven."

You see, marriage in heaven, but single angel status for those
unbelievers. Pretty straight, unless you equivocate and justify yourselves as unbelievers.

Anonymous said...

"Street",

Matt 22: 1-2, 4-5 is not referring to marriage in Heaven. If you will take those verses in context and read on you will see that Jesus is speaking in a parable (a short allegorical story meant to illustrate or teach a truth) about how God invites many to join His kingdom, but only a few are chosen by Him.

You also tried to use Matt 22:23-33 to defend celestial marriage. Once again, if one chooses to read that passage in its entirety (rather than cut and paste), one can see that it means the opposite -there is no marriage in the resurrection.

Anonymous said...

That's ol' streety for you.

ATAR_i said...

Baloney guy:

Got a kick out of your post!

Street

Hmm, just because someone is against YOU doesn't make them a nazi. Ahem, the US was 'against Hitler' but it certainly didn't make them nazi's.

Nazi believed in a fascist/totalitarian ideology.

ATAR_i

onthestreet said...

The Nazi reference (4/26/2005 9:53 PM),as you will see, had reference to the blog practice of censuring free thought and religion. Just being against someone certainly doesn't make them Nazi or even Nasty. Just look at Saul. He became great, but how? By the revelation of God to him regarding a true prophet, Peter, one man, one church, one doctrine, one God.

onthestreet said...

This, or course, referring to Saul of Taursus, not King Saul.

onthestreet said...

Native Texan started this thread, saying: What's this I keep reading about the LDS (fundamental and mainstream) beliefs about the afterlife? Do I understand correctly that men get their own planet, complete with a ton of wives, whose job it is to stay eternally pregnant? Is this for real?

Street's Reply: Read on, Native. Keep reading. You may finally become a believer. As far as "men" getting their own planet, that is not for men, but for gods (LDS doctrine). As for tons of wives, we don't measure wives by tonage. That is sexist. Shame on you. As for being eternally pregnant, if you mean that in mockery, then you have mocked God. He is eternally pregnant with life. Now, you go for awhile and try to figure that out.