Saturday, April 02, 2005

FLDS at Egoatarod?

Eldorado is having it's annual Elgoatarod festival today. Will we see any of Warren's followers there?

49 comments:

ex creeker said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ex creeker said...

Sorry tex. I dont think you will get to meet any goat ropers from YFZ.

Anonymous said...

They might come disguised as goats though! he he

SCARED said...

I AM SOOO SCARED ABOUT 4/6... IS ANYONE ELSE?

Anonymous said...

I do not think you have a lot to fear from 4/6. Unless you fear disenfranchized good people moving into your community and becoming good citizens

oxymormon said...

In ElgoataROD we trust... I happened to be at the festivities on Sat.

I am from Utah and while visiting the west texan villages on highway 277, was denied tabacco for having a Utah driver's license and pulled over for driving on Utah plates.
Looking forward to coming back to such a loving community :)

Now, would a REAL mormon be buying tobacco and kissing goats?
We all know J. Smith smoked heaps of tobacco, but that was back then...

Anonymous said...

Everyone make sure you know where your wives are on April 6. That will be about all that you need to worry about from Warren. The coward will call your wife and you won't even get to know until she leaves and heads to Texas.

Paladin for Truth said...

May God bless the Pope, A man who maintained the belief in Christ and did not have to change the program, judge the people or steal any wives to do it.

Anonymous said...

I talked to the sheriff and he said that he was invited to the compound along with a Texas ranger April 6.

They are also bringing the county Schleicher County tax assessor.

Sheriff stated that nothing at all expected to happen other than disappointed media.

Anonymous said...

To Oxymoron:

Texans are friendly, not stupid. Many people confuse the two.

You can thank your polygamist, child bride smuggling friends for the hospitality deficit. What are we supposed to do, welcome this backwards crap into our great state?

Don't be too hard on us Texans. Your Utah buddies have lied shamelessly to the good people of Eldorado since this whole thing started....hunting retreat, my butt. You can't blame them for being chapped because nobody likes being lied to!

Texmex

Anonymous said...

Texas is the friendlest state there is. The only issues Texas have with visitors is this :

When we go to another state we visit and come home.

When you come to our state - you stay!!

oxymormon said...

Texmex:

No worries mate, I've lived here in Texico long enuff to understand "veritas" texan hospitality-

The Mo-mos could be trying to placate your society's anxiety by inviting the county sheriff out for an old fashioned Polyg-B-Q. The modern journalist will write about any kind of anniversary to make it a piece of daily news.

Anonymous said...

WATCH OUT, SHERIFF!! Secret's in the sauce!

Anonymous said...

Actually the Sheriff has been in communications with his contacts on the ranch weeks prior to April 6th discussing the possibility of coming onto the ranch to kill media speculation, a conclusion was reached between the two that an outside presence on the ranch would definitly be a positive indicator that events surrounding the 6th has been hyped up tremendously.This will make about the ninth trip the sheriff has made onto the property in a spirit of keeping lines of communication open.

Anonymous said...

The ELGOATAROD was awesome this year,Well done Rungee! No FLDS there but plenty of FLDS related items and humor. who says everybody is just paralyzed with fear about this group being here?!? Oh yea I forgot, the media.

Anonymous said...

Kudos to Jon Cartwright! His rendition of "Plural Girl Blues" was hillarious! I bought me a Polygamy Cap as a souvenir, now my friends want one!

Anonymous said...

Want to know how tobaco got on the 'work of wisdom'? Emma Smith got tired of the good brothern spitting on her floor durring meetings.

individual identity said...

It's amazing to me how many things become "big news". It makes me wonder if Eldorado is such a po-dunk town that they have to dive into anything remotely spicey to keep life interesting. And while I read the blogs for entertainment, one has to wonder when something "news worthy" will actually turn up!?!?

Anonymous said...

Hey don't knock on the site. The people in Eldorado probably wouldn't make such a big deal about it if someone from Warren's Clu lux Klan would open up and say something to them, but no, it is a "closed society" and they like to lie in the name of the Lord. It IS big news. If you want to chat about things of more inportance, there are chat sites on MSN and CNN that would be of more interest to you. You get what you search for.

Anonymous said...

To Anon 1:58

You are right, Eldorado is a Podunk town. We like it like that!

But we have wireless T1 internet access to all businesses and churches and a very small school with over 400 computer systems and know how to use them.

It’s a place where cowboys ride horses, rope goats and fly airplanes.

Kind of like “Mayberry meets Star Trek”. Come by and say “Howdy”.

Anonymous said...

AP . . . UPI . . . CNN . . . Reuters News Service . . .
Dateline: Eldoraaado, TX.

Breaking News . . . Breaking News . . . Breaking News . . .

Media Orgy At YFZ Ranch A "Doomsday" Bust . . .

Jesus Cancels In Favor Of Visit With Pope . . .

Krakauer Returns From Nepal To Watch Story Evaporate "Into Thin Air . . ."

Prophet Livid—Chastises Faithful For Unfaithfulness . . .

Prophet Extends Uncle Fred’s "Special" Mission Indefinitely . . .

Prophet Foretells Of Next Years "Doomsday" Event--Last Seen Heading South Mumbling, "No Comment, No Comment . . ."

AG’s Left Holding Bag Of Subpoena’s Mumbling, "No Comment, No Comment . . ."

Mexican Minutemen Amigos Assemble At Border Crossing And Intercept Child Bride’s For Alleged "Prophet Trafficking . . ."

David Allred Buys "Hunting Retreat" In Mexico After Mancos Prozac Drug Bust Forces Sale Of Nursing Home Hunting Retreat, Colorado . . .

Dan Fischer Acquires YFZ For Lost Boy’s Dude Ranch . . .

"Uncle Wink" Organizes "Rainbow Coalition Canada" For Lost Dad’s . . .

Flora Calls Press Conference To Promote New Video, "Flora Does Dallas . . ."

Amazon Sponsor’s Bistline Book Signing For New Novel, "The Monogamists--A History . . ."

Debbie Palmer Loses Grant Funding After Delayed Memory Flashbacks Of Happy Past Life . . .

Oprah Features Child Brides Special But Stedman Disappears With Guests' . . .

Dubya Kisses Goat At Ranch Fund Raiser For Social Security . . .

Success Subscriptions Plummet From Boring Local News When YFZ Fizzles . . .

Chamber Calls Emergency Session To Plan 4/6/o6 Elgoatarod "Doomsday" Event--Prophet Contest Announced . . .

Life Returns To Normal, Jerry Springer And Jeraldo Get Married In Canada . . .

Breaking News . . . Breaking News . . . Breaking News . . .

Anonymous said...

Please, everyone be careful out there. Those of you living in Eldorado are in real danger. You are living at Ground Zero. Don't get caught between Flora Jessop and the TV cameras. You could get trampled.
Remember the life you save could be mine!

Anonymous said...

YFZ members remind me of hemroids. They are a pain in the ass and once they come down you can't get them to go back up!!

individual identity said...

I don't think I was knocking this site, only a little depressed by the whole thing. Reading through the blogs makes me wonder what the world is coming to. No offense Eldorado, I like podunk towns.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 12:08 Thanks, LMAO. Been lurking forever, fmr. Texan, too. If you have FLDS in your backyard, everyone has problems. Can someone please tell me if Susie ever got in touch with her family? Am a mom and this breaks my heart.

SCARED said...

I am a Christian woman with a family. It terrifies me that people like Warren Jeffs exist in this world.

He hides from the world by living in a compound. I think polygamy and child molestation is NOT a very Christian thing to do. He SHOULD be arrested. He is nothing but a PEDOPHILE.

If his relationship with God is so pure than why does he have so much hate in his heart for other races and sexual orientation. Love in an option, not a selected process like is marrying "rules".

If he has so much faith in his wives and other girls that live in him compound, than he should let child protective services come in there and interview each one of them alone. Let the YOUNG girls make up there minds.

Anonymous said...

to 1:06
In Susie's case, it would be a good time to show the good grace of the folks in Eldorado. Instead on just taking pity, I think everyone should pitch in and hire one of those airplanes with a flying banner asking Susie to "phone home". I'm also thinking tomorrow would be a good time...don't you?

keep sweet eldorado,
stg

Stinger said...

Hey 12:08, LMAO

Anonymous said...

To The Anonymous 12:08 AM post: "Breaking News": That was hilarious! Here's one coming back at ya that I wrote for the April 6th Doomsday Thread:

This weblog was just referred to me by a friend and I find it even more informative than she said it was. As several others are doing here, I want to give my prediction about the outcome of Wednesday. It’s my belief that Warren will call for a fast day and then he will gather the more righteous people into the temple, maybe for as long as 8 hours to pray for the destructions, for Jesus Christ to make an appearance and for this “Uncle Fred”, who recently died, to be renewed. At some point, probably about 6 hours into the fast meeting, Warren will be “inspired” to go into another room of the temple alone and there he will “receive” (it’s probably already written) a revelation from the “Lord”. [I’ll write what I believe Warren will write when he makes up his next revelation]. I believe it will read something like this:

“Thus saith the Lord to my servant, Warren S. Jeffs: The people are not yet sufficiently humble and are not pure (purged) enough. Therefore, I will not yet appear to you in the flesh nor will I accept the dedication of this temple unto myself at this time. Also, I’ve changed my mind and decided not to destroy this nation today, as I told you earlier, and I’ve decided “Uncle Fred” needs a rest, so with him, things will stay as they are.

There are still some half-hearted and a few 25%’s among the heart’s core of my chosen people. Therefore, ya’ll are still under condemnation and must needs repent and prove your faithfulness by consecrating everything you have to my storehouse.

The Eldorado Success Newspaper has put up a website, complete with a weblog whereby many 3/4 and 7/8 hearted among my people are making up lies about mine anointed. This blog site is an abomination in my sight and those amongst you that talk about, post on, or read the site, are nigh unto cursing and are sinning a sin so grievous it is near unto death.”

[At this point he’ll name one or two men from the Eldorado compound, nine or ten from Colorado City, and maybe a couple from Canada that the Lord has told him to kick out of Zion and take their families from them. One or two of those chosen to be kicked out will probably be “higher ups” because the importance of the 175th anniversary of the founding of the FLDS Church requires a much larger sacrifice than normal, just like the more important ritual days in the culture of the Aztec.]

The revelation will continue on with: “You must be diligent in finding and seeking out iniquity within the church and report it to your immediate male head who will then report it to his immediate male head who will then report it to “Bishop Will” who will then report it to mine anointed. Mine anointed will then contact Me and I will then instruct my servant further concerning the payment to be exacted from the guilty parties.

You are my hand picked and chosen people for whom I have a great and abounding love. I am therefore giving you more time and another chance to prove that you can be obedient in all things unto mine servant, Warren Jeffs who is pretty much one with me in all things.

I say unto you, my servant Warren: You have not put forth sufficient exertion in the commandment I had previously given you to clean up this people. Nor have you sufficiently taught your family as I have commanded and you must needs be chastened. Mine handmaidens (your mothers) whom I gave to you when I took your father unto Me, have not raised up sufficient seed to me in his name because of your lack of strength in the flesh. I command you henceforth to gird up your loins, take additional wives, and raise more seed unto me in your father’s and your name while I have yet granted more time. For above all others, the Jeffs bloodline is most precious in mine sight. On mine own list, it’s even above the bloodline of the Barlows.

If any of mine handmaidens among my church resist mine anointed, Warren, they are nigh unto cursing and being cut off from the presence of the Lord and must needs be chastened. They shall be taken from among the righteous and hidden in a place of isolation, there to be intensively taught and trained and allowed time for repentance. In order for them to avoid going down with the wicked and losing their salvation, they must get their thinking straight.

I have great dominions and glory in store for my worthy children who are obedient and concentrate solely on reaching my kingdom through mine appointed prophet, Warren S. Jeffs. Thus saith the Lord, your God. The end.”

“P.S. My servant Warren has not yet received sufficient funds to complete the building of Zion and for paying those pesky fines imposed by the state of Texas upon my people for not bothering to get the proper permits. Every elder is required to borrow an additional two thousand dollars from credit cards or bank loans, and turn it in as a consecration to my storehouse, thereby proving your loyalty to my priesthood.”

“P.P.S. Those who talked to the press revealing my sacred revelations to my servant Warren, are nigh unto cursing and will immediately shut up or I will cut them off from my presence and they will not be worthy of Zion, or Colorado City, for that matter. To prove your repentance, confess unto mine appointed servant, your sins and shortcomings, and do them no more before mine eyes. While you are at it, confess any of your neighbor’s sins that you are aware of or suspect they are guilty of. More will be given at a later date.”

That’s my prediction for the FLDS on the 6th day of April, 2005 in Eldorado, Texas. I’m sure the press will we disappointed again because they won’t hear a thing about Warren’s change to his prophecies until word leaks out from the inside.

All funn’in (at Warren’s expense) aside, I’m positive he will change his prophesies to accommodate his needs. His true followers (after seeing a few good friends and neighbors lose their salvation and loved ones) will again have their faith restored in him and sign up for a’nuther go round.



Living and Loving in Texas

Anonymous said...

To Living and Loving in Texas=8:08 PM

AWESOME!! SUCH TALENT!! PLEASE WRITE MORE!! LMAO - THANKS

Anonymous said...

Living and loving,

I think you have it exactly right! Are you a prophet and also God's annointed? I'll bet you have better success at predicting things than old Warren! Don't stop!

Anonymous said...

Alright "L&L in T" confession time! You have altogether TOO much information on the common verbage of "revelations". So come now, tell: have you or have you not been part of FLDS at one time? That is HILARIOUS! And if you WERE FLDS, then whatever are you doing in Texas? Unless you've been kicked out of the inner sanctum . . .? Dish! I'm dying to know!

Anonymous said...

To 12:31 am. Shuuuuuuuu!

Found Lost Boy said...

Very good loving and living in Texas, that sounded pretty darn close to the "revelations" from "god"(Warren) that I was fed full of while growing up in the FLDS. Keep Posting! That was awesome! ha ha!

Anonymous said...

To Living and Loving in Texas, 8:08 pm

Your revelation sounds about right on the money. If I didn't know better I would have guessed you grabbed it right off of Warrens desk. Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

Living and Loving in Texas

Very well written revelation. Warren could take a pointer or two from you.
When Warren reads it he will probably be jealous his didnt sound that good.

Anonymous said...

To 10:07 pm; How do you know I didn't get that revelation off of Warrens desk?

Haven't you ever heard of remote viewing?

The next revelation warren gets, he'd better hunker down more as he writes his rough draft.I'll be looking over his shoulder.

Living and loving in Texas.

Anonymous said...

To "dish i'm dying to know".

All in good time.Your patience is a virtue that protects me.

Maybe when this is all over, a confession might spew forth from a "prophet"in Texas.

In the interm, please don't die to know' it's not worth it. :)

Liveing and loving in Texas.

Anonymous said...

revilation, is given to all people. That is what a conciense is. So, let me ask you this? was you getting your power from lucifer, or Christ. One teaches life. One teaches mockery. One teaches forgiveness, one teaches Judgment. In the bible, is a story, of a man, riding a donkey. He is impressed to go to a place and give a message from God to the people. He thinks to do as the king comanded. He is stopped at the gate, by an angle. He gets off and beats the donkey. The Lord opened the donkeys eyes. It can see the angel. The man whips the donkey three times for disobeying him. The Lord opens the donkeys mouth. The donkey says, why do you beat me? Am I not faithful to you? Have I not always been faithful to you? The Lord opens the mans eyes to the spirits. He does see the angel. The angel says, "if you had gone past the gate, I would have slain you. The Lord did instruct you to give this message. You will obey God and not the king. The man did give the Lords message. Now, The message of Christ has always been the same. He has been the same from the begining of time to now. He has had entire citys slain. This is according to Bible doctrine, and Morman doctrine. He has been very kind to us in our day. He has said, "Keep my comandments and I will fight your battles." I ask you again, "What was the scorce of your power? Have you obeyed the comandment of Christ, to love and forgive? Or do you mack and slander?

Anonymous said...

Or, do you mock and slander?

Anonymous said...

OK OK just a figure of speech. I'm not "dying" to know but my curiosity is like a horrible itch that can't be scratched. Are you really in Texas? And are you FLDS? Because that's really juicy!

Anonymous said...

To 11:17 pm. If I give anymore clues as to who I am,my identity will be discovered.If I had wanted that I would have prophecied in mine own name in the first place.This itch you speak about must remain unscratched for now. :)


Living and loving in Texas.

Anonymous said...

To 4:21pm.

Oh my Ruthie,know ye not the source of my power?You are my muse.Without your inspiration my quill would quiver and quit.


To your knowledge,did not the revelation come true?Look ye into a looking glass,Search deep within thine own heart and answer this well and truthfully.Let your concience be your guide and personal revelation be your goal.


Is it not possible that the Lord opened your mouth to inspire me?Was the Lord then useing my inkpot to help open the donkey's eyes to the slaying of an entire city?


If any donkey's can now see the angel of light because of what was revealed in the prophecy,Glory be unto God who works in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform.


Ruth, reread the revelation and this time conciously remove all the satire,concentrating entirely on truth and facts and see what is revealed.There are some great truths contained therin for those who have eyes to see.


Living and loveing in Texas.

altaacadummy said...

WARREN: YOU ARE A USELESS PUKE AND I HOPE SOMEDAY SOON YOU END UP IN PRISON AND THE HONEST, FEAR CONSUMED PEOPLE IN YOUR GRASP CAN SEE THE LIGHT OF FREEDOM
BURN IN HELL, WARREN, BECAUSE IF YOU GO TO HEAVEN, I'LL DO ANYTHING TO AVOID IT

Anonymous said...

Isn't it greatt when a person can unburdon themselves and just get it all out? Go for it altaacadummy, get rid of the angst and then move on with your new, free life . . .

onthestreet said...

FLDS at Egoatarod?
Eldorado is having it's annual Elgoatarod festival today. Will we see any of Warren's followers there?

Street's Reply: No, the sheep and the goats don't mix.

onthestreet said...

Anonymous said...
YFZ members remind me of hemroids. They are a pain in the ass and once they come down you can't get them to go back up!!

4/5/2005 10:15 AM

Street's Reply: Yes, and once God comes down, you can not get him to go back up. He'll be one pain in the ass, but a joy to some. "Few there be that find it."
(the Word of the Lord).

onthestreet said...

altaacadummy said...
WARREN: YOU ARE A USELESS PUKE AND I HOPE SOMEDAY SOON YOU END UP IN PRISON AND THE HONEST, FEAR CONSUMED PEOPLE IN YOUR GRASP CAN SEE THE LIGHT OF FREEDOM
BURN IN HELL, WARREN, BECAUSE IF YOU GO TO HEAVEN, I'LL DO ANYTHING TO AVOID IT

4/22/2005 8:18 AM

Street's Reply: Aca-dummy is right (a dummy).

Anonymous said...

STREET:

COME ON!!!

It is assumed that your response is a reply!!!

Do you have to requote everything?

The redundancy is wearing me out.